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Day Twenty-Four: Red Rain Boots & Plaid Scarf

31Days

 

I love this red plaid scarf. I made it my mission to find a scarf just like this for Fall and Winter this year. And I found it at Target, of course. I love the red and black together. It’s classic and it makes me feel like Christmas will be here soon!

SUPER cute for the holidays...  I think I'd like a pair of red Danskos and a black vest instead.

Inspiration Pin

 I tried a red shirt under my black boyfriend cardigan but I didn’t love it. So I changed it to a white tank instead and it was perfect. I also don’t own a pair of red high heel boots because I wouldn’t be able to walk 3 feet in those. Ha! So in honor of all the rain we’ve had lately I chose red rain boots instead.

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1. Dark Skinny Jeans: Mossimo for Target Skinny Jeans- HERE; bought for $22.99 on sale

2. White Tank: Merona for Target Favorite Tank- HERE; bought for $7

3. Black Boyfriend Cardigan: Mossimo for Target- HERE; bought for $15.99 with cartwheel coupon

4. Red Plaid Scarf: Merona for Target- HERE; bought for $16.99

5. Red Rain Boots: Target Classic Knee High Rain Boots- HERE; bought for $29.99 on BOGO sale

Well I didn’t plan it this way but today’s outfit ended up being 100% from Target. Ha! I really want a pair of Hunters red rain boots but I can’t justify the cost right now. So instead I bought the ones from Target. I like them- they are comfortable and they fit well. I’m not sure how they compare to the Hunters because I don’t own a pair of Hunters…yet. Anyway, I like them with this outfit and I really like the chunky knit boot socks with them!

You can see all the posts in my 31 Day Series HERE.

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THE STORY OF ZOEY JAYNE

Mr.McHunky had been joking for weeks that I would be in labor on Labor Day. He thought it was hilarious….until it happened. Ha! I woke up feeling fine on Monday, the 6th of September, aka Labor Day. But by mid-morning I was having some…ahem, intestinal disturbances. The contractions didn’t seem any worse than they had been for the past few weeks so I thought maybe I had some kind of stomach virus. I talked Mr.McHunky into taking a walk around the neighborhood with me, despite the fact it was well over 90 degrees. I just felt the need to move and walk around, which in hindsight should have been my first clue that labor was a comin’. We walked a couple of miles and probably sweated off 5 pounds in the process, not necessarily a bad thing in my case. Ha!

The contractions definitely picked up as we walked and didn’t slow down at all when we got home. It was around 1pm or so and I started thinking that maybe I was in early labor, which sent me straight into a panic because we had no food in the house and no toilet paper. Don’t ask how I discovered there was no toilet paper. It is not a pretty story and I am banishing the memory from my mind. I had a lot of little things left on my to do list and it was all stuff that actually needed to get done- lay out clothes for the kids for school for the week, send money to their online school lunch account, a couple of loads of laundry, grocery shopping…..important things. So we headed out to Target to grab some essentials, just in case. I was feeling like crap by that point, the contractions were pretty steady and getting stronger at 4-5 minutes apart. I think Mr.McHunky asked me at least 100 times if I needed to go to the hospital and I kept putting it off. I knew I had only been a loose 2, almost 3cm dilated at my last appointment and I didn’t want to get sent home. I still wasn’t convinced that it was real labor. Ha! We strolled around Target for an hour or so and by the time we got home, I knew that I was in early labor.

We spent the next 5 or 6 hours getting things prepared. I really thought I would be in early labor through the night and possibly be 4cm by the time my regularly scheduled OB appointment rolled around in the morning and then I would just get sent to the hospital. I could still talk through the contractions, they were not that bad, just consistent. Mr.McHunky and I straightened up the house, got all the kids things prepared for the week, wrote out instructions for my mom….all the stuff we left until the last minute, of course. It wasn’t until around 9pm that the contractions really started picking up and getting stronger. I could no longer sit still, I had to be moving. I think I wore a rut in the hardwoods, that’s how many times I walked the same path around the couches. Around 10pm, I gave my sister a call to let her know that I might have to head up to L&D to at least get checked out. She had to work the next morning at 8am so I called my mom as well to let her know that she might need to head on down to our house. Not even 10 minutes after I called my sister, I had one major contraction that sealed the deal. We were heading for the hospital.

I called my OB’s on call line and thanked my lucky stars that a doctor I really liked was on call that night. I was so worried that I would get the one OB that I seriously dislike and I would have to kill her in the middle of my labor. She told me to head on in to L&D to be checked out. I was able to take a shower and gather my stuff while we waited for my sister to arrive. The kids were all asleep so they didn’t even know that we were leaving, we decided not to wake them up since they had school the next morning. Mase woke up about 5 minutes before my sister arrived and went absolutely stark raving crazy at the mere thought of staying home without us. We figured we might as well take him with us and then Mr.McHunky could bring him home later on if he needed to. So I packed him a little bag full of toys and snacks to take with us. By the time my sister got there, I was ready to go. I could no longer sit down at all, the contractions were about every 2-2.5 minutes apart and I was definitely breathing through them. Time to GO! Luckily we are only 10 minutes from the hospital but I swear we hit every single traffic light on the way. Naughty words were said. It was 10:58pm on Labor Day Monday when we arrived at the hospital.

When we got to L&D, it was deserted. When I had Mase, the whole floor was packed and we ended up in a triage room for hours waiting for a real L&D room to open up. I guess that’s the difference in showing up at 11am before the daily discharges are done and showing up at 11pm at night. If there were going to be a number 6 in our house I would remember that, but there will not be a number 6. No really. There will not be a number 6. Keep reading and you’ll know why. Ha! We were taken straight into a triage room by a nurse that I swear must have been all of 12 years old. When did they get so young….or when did I get so old? She was super nice though and did not have an issue with Mase being present. I was nervous that I would get some grief for bringing a 2 1/2 year old with me to L&D, but there was no way I was leaving him at home, screaming hysterically. Not in my overly hormonal state. He was so good. He sat on the chair beside Mr.McHunky with his little MobiGo game and we didn’t hear a peep out of him the entire time we were in triage.

The nurse hooked me up to the monitors for 45 minutes so they could see my contraction pattern before checking my cervix. I contracted every 2-2.5 minutes the entire time and these were not little irritable contractions, they were BIG contractions- some reaching up into the 80’s and lasting upwards of a minute each. The nurse kept saying that the OB on call from my office was trying to determine whether she wanted to try and stop the contractions and try to buy me another few days of pregnancy or if she should just go ahead and let me deliver. I was fully prepared to be sent home after a night of meds, I was trying to think positively about it. Another few days would be good for the baby. I could handle another few days of contractions. I was lying to myself. If she had tried to send me home, I think I would have reached up there and dragged the baby out myself!

After 45 minutes, the nurse came in and checked my cervix. I was a very loose and stretchy 4cm dilated. And the contractions were still steady at 2-2.5 minutes. I still had not actually seen the OB at this point but the nurse said that based on my dilation and contractions pattern, she would be shocked if I was sent home. Especially considering Maia was born at 35 weeks, 3 days and Mase was born right at 37 weeks. She asked about pain relief. Hello, Epidural! I remember telling her that I was not one of those mama’s who felt the need to have a natural birth. I wanted drugs and lots of them. This comment will come back to haunt me later on, I should have known better. The nurse was right, my OB admitted me for delivery about 20 minutes later. Mr.McHunky jumped on the phone to let my mom know to go ahead and come down to stay with the kids so my sister could get to work in the morning. We had 3 back up plans and every single one of them fell through. My first back up person was out of town. The second one had a child with chicken pox and the third one was not answering her phone. So while I thought I had all my bases covered, things were much more stressful than they should have been. My mom was packed and ready to go and she left immediately to make the 2 hour drive to our house even though it was after midnight. What would I do without my mom? Mom’s are the best. Meanwhile, Mase had been tucked in on the oh-so-comfortable couch/daybed/torture board and was fast asleep.

The triage nurse became my L&D nurse and came in to talk to me about antibiotics. I was scheduled to have my Group B Strep test that very day at my OB appointment. Of course. This would not normally be a big issue but for me, it was a big deal. I’m allergic to just about every damn antibiotic that is safe in pregnancy. And not just allergic like hives and itching, allergic like Anaphylactic shock and Epi pens. The few that I’m not allergic to are not ones that they would use to treat Group B Strep. Sigh. After multiple conversations and discussions among the medical team, they decided on an antibiotic- Vancomycin. They started the first dose around 1:30am. It took maybe 30 minutes for the itching to start. And I don’t mean a little itch here and there. I mean OH MY EFFIN WORD, MY WHOLE EFFIN BODY IS ON FIRE itching. I was on the phone with my mom when the itching started on the top of my head and WHOOSH, it spread all the way down my body. I was literally scratching the skin off my body trying to make the itching stop. I pulled a clump of hair out of my head in my efforts to alleviate the itching. Mr.McHunky called for a nurse, who came running. A nurse coming into your room in a full sprint is never a comforting sign and this nurse looked panicked. My lips were starting to tingle and I felt dizzy. It took her all of 30 seconds to stop the Vancomycin, start flushing my IV lines and administer some Benadryl. 3 more nurses poured in right behind her. Again, not comforting. Mr.McHunky was in the corner, muttering something about how I have to make everything exciting and I can’t just have a nice, easy, calm labor. Ha!

It took a good 10 minutes for the itching and tingling to stop and I was so relieved to hear that the full dose did manage to go in the IV so I did not have to repeat the experience again later on. So I guess we add Vancomyin to the long list of antibiotics that I will not be taking again. The Benadryl made me so sleepy and the nurse suggested I take a nap. Sure, it’s so easy to take a nap with contractions wracking your body every 2 minutes. I may or may not have said that out loud. She checked my cervix again and I was still a loose 4cm. The contractions were starting to change, I was feeling them in my lower back- just like with Maia. I had 34 hours of horrifying back labor with Maia- 30 of them with no epidural. Not an experience I wanted to repeat. But I also do not really like the thought of a gigantic needle in my back so the pain of the contractions must be worse than the apprehension of the big needle. Mr.McHunky calls me a contradiction. Ha! Mr.McHunky was fast asleep on the couch with Mase but there was no way I was going to fall asleep. The contractions plus the excitement of knowing we would be meeting our new daughter were just too much to let me fall asleep. So I just settled back to watch some middle of the night television….and let me tell you, the selection was not great. Four episodes of Everybody loves Raymond later, the OB finally came in to check my progress.

It was 6am when he checked me and I was a solid 6cm dilated, fully effaced and finally at a zero station. I was disappointed that I wasn’t further along because the contractions were really painful by this point and it went much faster with Mase (although in hindsight, his labor went faster because the OB broke my water immediately and I had Pitocin). The OB went ahead and broke my water since the baby was much lower and engaged. Turns out the water was bloody. No meconium, thank goodness, but quite a bit of blood. She was concerned but not overly so since baby looked great on the monitors. I went ahead and asked for the epidural, knowing that I was about to get much more uncomfortable. I was fully prepared to deliver quickly, like with Mase. Should have known better. Zoey had her own agenda and wanted to do it her own way. Just like Maia. I got the epidural about 30 minutes later. Mr.McHunky and Mase slept through the whole thing. Ha! Probably good since big needles being inserted into his wife’s back tend to make Mr.McHunky uneasy. The anesthesiologist was in and out quickly and while it took the pain of the contractions away, I could still move and feel my legs. I knew that I could not move or feel my legs with either Maia or Mase but my nurse kept assuring me that it was normal and fine. Since I wasn’t feeling pain, I let it go. If there were going to be a next time, which there is not, I would listen to my gut feeling.

The next 2 hours passed quickly. I thought I would be ready to push a lot sooner since that happened in both my previous deliveries. But I was stuck at 8cm for-evah! The OB who had just come on service ordered some Pitocin to get me to 10cm but I started feeling pressure before the nurse could even get the bag hung and hooked up to my IV. After 2 augmented deliveries, the threat of Pitocin was enough to kick my body into gear. Ha! Finally, I felt a huge surge of pressure and then excruciating pain. Like someone was cutting me in half with a chainsaw, kind of pain. PAIN. I hit that stupid epidural bolus button so many times that it cut me off. Bastard. The nurse checked me and said I was a 9 and I should breathe like I was blowing out birthday candles. I’m going to tell you right now, that shit don’t work. Birthday candles my ass. I kept telling her that I HAVE TO PUSH RIGHT NOW. And she kept telling me to blow through the pressure. Two more contractions later and I was done blowing out birthday candles. I told the nurse that I CANNOT STOP PUSHING. She obviously got the message because she started moving fast, breaking down the bed and calling for the OB. Mr.McHunky said it was my demon voice that got her ass moving. I tend to think he’s right. She checked me one last time and I was fully dilated and the baby’s head was right there. Literally, right there. And she was sunny side up, just like her stubborn big sister. That’s apparently why my progression was slower than expected. Mase was still sleeping on the couch at this point. I thought he was going to sleep through the entire delivery, I really hoped he would. But of course, that’s not how things work in our family. He woke up about a minute before Zoey was born, he took one look around at all the people in the room and promptly hid under the sheet.

The OB showed up a couple of minutes later and got there just in time because I only pushed five times through 2 contractions before Zoey Jayne was born. She came out with her arm up beside her head, again just like her big sister. She was crying right away and got to be placed right on my chest, unlike Mase who was whisked away by a NICU nurse immediately. I remember looking down at her beautiful little face and being overwhelmed by a sense of Deja Vu. It was like being transported back in time 5 years ago and seeing Maia for the first time. Zoey is identical to Maia. She got to remain on my chest for a good half an hour while the OB did the rest of his job.

I was so enthralled with my new daughter that it took me a few minutes to realize that I was feeling every single stitch he made and with the epidural, I should not have been feeling them. He looked puzzled when I told him that but shot me up with Lidocaine before finishing. I didn’t tear as badly as I did with the other kids, only a 2nd degree tear this time which is a welcome change from the 3rd and 4th degree tears I had before. I had more bleeding than what is expected so I got to enjoy a lovely fundal massage. Note the sarcasm. My abdomen was sore for 2 weeks from the massaging. The OB who delivered me said that my placenta was starting to separate, which explains the bloody amniotic fluid, and also makes it a very good thing that she was delivered that day. The progressive care nurse took her over to get her weight and apgars (8 and 9, thank you).

Zoey Jayne weighed in at 6 pounds 9 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. A perfect sized little peanut, especially for only 36 weeks, 2 days along. She was given a clean bill of health and handed off to Mr.McHunky for some bonding time while the nurse and OB finished up with me. I ended up with the Pitocin after all, to help stop the bleeding, and also a nice shot of something starting with a M in my leg to further stop the bleeding. Apparently, I’m a bleeder. My mom finally made it to the room less than 10 minutes after Zoey was born. Even though she wasn’t intending to be there in time for the birth, she was a little disappointed to have missed it by only a few minutes. She was there for Mase’s birth so at least she got to see one of her grandchildren come into the world. Mr.McHunky finally coaxed Mase out from under the sheet and scared the heck out of the OB who delivered me, he hadn’t even known Mase was there. We all got a good laugh out of the look on the doctor’s face.

That’s the story of Zoey Jayne’s birth.  My last labor and delivery. She’s so sweet, she almost makes me want another.  Almost. This post got really long so I’ll continue the story of her first few days meeting her new family in another post.



Are You New?

Sooooo…..you’re new here? Well then this post is just for you!
 
Hey y’all! My friends call me Delia! I’m a sassy southern mama blessed with one hot husband & five crazy kids who think the cleaning fairy is a real thing.  I love reality television, the trashier the better- I’m looking at you My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding. I am addicted to Starbucks Coconut Mocha Frapps with whip of course because clearly I am spoiled. My favorite movie of all time is Steel Magnolias- “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”~~Truvy. Love that movie. I dislike exercise with an intensity that most people reserve for fatal diseases. Seriously, if you see me running then you’d better run too because something really bad is happening behind me. I played competitive soccer for many many years and now I’m old so I figure I got all my exercising done back when I was young.
 
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 You can find my most popular posts over there —-> on the sidebar. If you’re a fan of the funny stuff you can find a whole bunch of it right here. While you’re visiting, you might as well meet the family considering they are the inspiration behind most of the funny. If you still have some burning questions about us, check out the FAQ page. If you have a question that was not answered, please give me a shout and ask.

Still want to know more? Here’s a sample of posts that I think will give you a glimpse into what makes me tick. It’s okay…don’t be scared.
 
 
I hope you’ll stick around and say hello! You can also find me on The Twitters, The Facebook, The Pinterest, The Instagram and well, pretty much everywhere. I get around.
 
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The Story Of Mase

I knew after Maia was born that I wanted to have at least one more baby. When I say after Maia was born, I mean it literally. She was about 6 minutes old, the First Year OB Resident was desperately trying to stop my hemorrhaging and I looked at Mr.McHunky and said ‘When can we do this again?‘ He had to sit down and put his head between his knees. But the moment that she was born and placed on my chest, I knew I wanted to do it again. Mase was not planned but he was desperately wanted. We had taken a family vacation to the beach and well, let’s just say that certain items were forgotten in the packing process and oops- here comes baby. Ironic how someone who is supposedly infertile gets knocked up twice on accident, isn’t it? I’m apparently the most fertile infertile ever. I was so busy in June 2007 with Ty graduating from Kindergarten and Cam graduating from Pre-K that I didn’t notice right away that I was late. It finally occurred to me in the middle of the night a couple of weeks later. I was half asleep and all of a sudden I sat straight up in bed and whispered “Holy Shit. I’m pregnant.” I confirmed it the next day with 3 pregnancy tests. I know, you want to know why it took 3 tests.  Well the first one I accidentally dropped in the toilet so I didn’t believe the positive result. The second one I barely had enough tinkle left to do the test so again, I didn’t believe the result. The third one I finally believed.  I wanted to do something special this time to tell Mr.McHunky and I wanted to include the kids.  We told him on Father’s Day 2007.  The kids served him breakfast in bed wearing shirts we made announcing the news.

It was fun to watch how long it took him to notice the shirts, he was almost done with his breakfast before the kids giggling made him curious enough to investigate. He was thrilled but a little shell shocked. I knew from the beginning that Mase was a boy. I don’t know how but I was sure that I was having a boy, I didn’t even look at girls names. Our first OB appointment revealed a due date of February 14th which made the kids beg to name the baby Cupid. This pregnancy was completely different in the beginning from my pregnancy with Maia.  14 weeks of the worst all day sickness that I’d ever imagined landed me in the ER several times for IV fluids and Zofran provided the small amount of relief that helped me get through each day. We found out at 20 weeks that we were in fact having a boy and I was so excited to see what a little boy would look like. But just like with Maia’s pregnancy, I started experiencing complications in the beginning of my third trimester. I started experiencing preterm labor contractions in the 28th week and began dilating a week later. I was started on a cocktail of medications to stop the contractions and I circled the day I would be 37 weeks on the calendar as my goal.


28 weeks

I ended up in OB triage 9 times between 30-35 weeks so my labor could be stopped with more powerful IV drugs. At 35 weeks I was dilated to 3cm, 75% effaced, contracting every 3-4 minutes and so jittery from all the Trebuteline that they kept shooting into me that I couldn’t hold a cup of coffee without risk of second degree burns. I remember sitting in the triage room, hooked up to all the monitors while Mr.McHunky watched the numbers climbed as the contractions increased. It hit 30, then 50, then 70, then 100….he urged me to try to hit 150. The only thing I hit was him. Several more shots of Trebuteline, bedrest and oral medications bought me another 2 weeks.


32 weeks

The morning that I hit 37 weeks, January 22nd,  I woke up with serious contractions that were around a 7 on the pain scale. Before that, the contractions had been about a 5. I can handle a 5. A 7 is dangerously close to the point where I start stalking the anesthesiologist for an epidural. By the way, they don’t like that. It scares them. Big bunch of wussies. I waited, timing the contractions, until my OB’s office opened at 8am. I informed the phone nurse what was going on and she promised to speak with the doctor and call me back immediately. She called me back quickly with news that sent me right on over the edge. The doctor, who was not my doctor and had never seen me before, insisted that I was just dehydrated and that I should just lie down on my left side and drink a glass of water. I said naughty words, the nurse laughed and instructed me to drink the water, lie down for 10 minutes and call her back if nothing changed. I hung up, said a few more naughty words and told Mr.McHunky to grab the bag because we were going to L&D and I was not leaving without a baby.


37 weeks- 10 minutes before we left for hospital

Upon my arrival at the unit, the nurse running triage just shook her head. We’d seen her so much by that point that she knew my life story. Asked if the doctor had told me to come to L&D, I informed her that ‘I told the doctor that I was coming to L&D’ which made her giggle. Apparently I don’t follow orders very well. Who knew? The nurse checked me and I was a solid 3.5 cm, 85% effaced and still contracting every 3-4 minutes. The OB showed up, not mine but I’d seen her several times during my many trips to OB triage. Before even checking me, she flat out told me that just because I was 37 weeks now did not mean she would do anything to augment my labor. If I made it to 4cm on my own, she would admit me for delivery. If not, I was going home. It would be at this point that I lost my composure. I don’t remember much of it but Mr.McHunky later told me that I sat up, grabbed the doctor’s stethoscope, pulled her towards me and growled that I was having a baby today even if I had to reach up there and drag him out myself. I can’t say for sure as I don’t remember doing that but it sure does sound like something I would do. She checked me and I was a good 4 cm. I think we were both relieved. It was finally time to end the misery and have a baby. I was moved to a labor and deliver room, she broke my water and we waited. She assumed that I would go quickly, so when she checked me a mere 2 hours later and I was only 4.5cm, she started Pitocin to move things along. I was in labor with Maia for a long time. My water broke at 2am on a Tuesday, she was born at 12:44pm on Wednesday. That’s almost 35 hours of labor for all you folks who don’t do math. Stubborn child of mine. I was a little scared to repeat that performance. I got my epidural when I was 5cm. Nobody was prepared for how things went after that.
The anesthesiologist was barely out of the room when I started feeling faint. The nurse pumped me full of fluids and laid me down, which seemed to help but then I started to shake. The nurse thought it was another reaction to the epidural. It wasn’t. All of a sudden there were 8 people crowding in the room. An oxygen mask was put on my face, two nurses started flipping me from side to side. I had just had the epidural so I had no feeling at all below the waist. They were flipping me side to side to side to side and I just wanted to throw up. The OB was there immediately. So many things were happening but nobody was telling me anything. I happened to see the monitor just moments before a nurse turned it away from me. The Baby’s heartrate was 60. I knew. I knew how bad it was. The shaking was back. The OB was so amazingly calm as she told the nurse to prepare the OR, they were coming right now. I was sobbing, Mr.McHunky was so pale. I managed to yell out that I was feeling pressure, the OB took the few seconds to check me and I was 10cm. Things happened so fast after that. My legs were up in the stirrups immediately and I was pushing. Again, the OB was so calm and soothing. She knew that I knew how serious the situation was by the urgency of my pushing. She took a moment to tell me that I could push one more time and if the baby did not come out, she would have to assist with the vacuum. We were out of time, he had to come out immediately. It was an out of body experience. All I remember was pushing as hard as I could, pleading with God to spare my son.

Please don’t take him, take me if you have to, but don’t take him. Don’t take him.

I pushed and he was born at 5:36pm. 2 contractions, 4 pushes and he was out. He was so pale and so limp. I couldn’t tell if he was breathing. He was placed on my chest for several seconds while his cord was cut. The NICU team had arrived sometime in the middle of this and they took him immediately. I couldn’t see him, couldn’t see what was going on. Mr.McHunky was there with him, holding his tiny hand with one finger while the doctor’s worked. It seemed like an eternity before I heard that tiny cry and knew that my son was breathing. The tiny cry turned into a big cry of outrage and I relaxed for the first time in weeks. If he was pissed, he was fine. The NICU team kept him over in the warming bassinet while the OB finished up with me. Just a note that’s not for the squeamish- pushing out a baby in 4 pushes is not such a great plan. Don’t do it unless absolutely necessary, fourth degree tears are no joke. Especially when the epidural wears off mid-stitch. Pass the Percocet, please.


Mase at 5 minutes old

Mase is a miracle. The NICU team was unsure what to make of him. He ended up with apgars of 9 and 9. Unheard of in a situation like that, they termed it ‘an emergent birth’. The Neonatologist came to congratulate me and said something that I’ll never forget. ‘Your son must have one hell of a Guardian Angel’. I agree. The nurses later told my sister, who is a nurse, that they were very worried that he would be born too late to survive. He should not have survived that birth. He’s been in prolonged decels for more than 10 minutes. His heart rate didn’t come up between contractions. At the very least, he should be significantly impaired. But he’s perfect. We spent 3 nights in the hospital, the extra night to treat his jaundice with the phototherapy lights and also to give me an extra day to heal from the 4th degree tear.


First day home

We hadn’t been home long, just a few days, when I started feeling really sick. I thought it was just part of recovering from such a traumatic delivery but then I spiked a fever of 104 and my stomach began to hurt so badly that labor seemed like a good time. I couldn’t stand up straight and the pain was so bad it made me vomit which of course, made the pain worse.  Mr.McHunky hauled me off to the ER and they ER doctor immediately sent me upstairs to L&D.  I had a staph infection in my uterus and let me assure you, having an exam that soon after delivery with a 4th degree tear should be considered a form of torture. I spent 4 days hooked up to IV antibiotics before they let me go home for the second time. It took weeks before I felt even remotely human again but at least I was home and had a healthy, adorable little baby to make it all worth it.

Mase’s First Year:



The Story Of Maia

[Warning: This post contains graphic descriptions of childbirth. If you are squeamish, move along- nothing to see here.]

We were not trying to get pregnant, we were in the middle of Cam’s adoption and life was chaotic. Truth be told, we had kind of given up on getting pregnant the old fashioned way. After multiple miscarriages and then a long stretch of not being able to even conceive despite a great deal of effort (aka- lots of sex) we just figured it wasn’t in the plans for us. We were happy with our two little boys and planned to eventually adopt again. So we weren’t trying to conceive but we technically weren’t preventing it either- if it happened then it happened was our theory. Still,despite all that, it came as a great surprise to me to realize that my period was late in April 2004. I waited a few days before buying a test, not wanting to get my hopes up again. Finally, I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I found out that we were expecting our first child on Easter Sunday 2004. We had a family picnic and Easter egg hunt planned for later in the day and I wanted a fun way to surprise Mr.McHunky with the news. I took a picture of the positive test, printed it out and put it inside one of the eggs that we hid. I even remembered to put a little sticker on the egg that said “For Daddy” so nobody else would open it. We had our picnic and then our egg hunt. I waited very impatiently for someone to find the special egg but finally Ty did. It took Mr.McHunky a few minutes to figure out what he was looking at but once he did he got the biggest smile on his face. We were cautiously optimistic, having been through so many miscarriages. My first appointment to the OB gave me a due date of December 23rd and showed a perfect little bean with a heartbeat. The rest of my first trimester was uneventful except for one episode of bleeding that scared the hell out of us but turned out to be nothing. I really had no morning sickness, just two episodes late at night that were short lived. We found out at 18 weeks that we were having a little girl and it just seemed perfect- a little girl to complete the family. The second trimester was more involved.  At 22 weeks I started bleeding again and an ultrasound showed that I had a partial placental tear. 3 weeks of bedrest on my left side seemed to stabilize the problem and I didn’t have anymore bleeding.


28 weeks

I had just barely made it into my third trimester when the next obstacle showed up. At my routine 28 week appointment, I mentioned that I was feeling a tightening in my abdomen and the baby wasn’t moving as much. They hooked me up to the non-stress test machine for an hour to check the baby’s movement pattern. What they found sent me straight to Labor & Delivery, do not pass go and do not collect $200. I was contracting every 4-5 minutes and when they examined me, I was 1cm dilated. I got to spend the next 10 hours hooked up to an IV and getting Terbuteline shots in the arm. Finally after seeing that I did not dilate any further despite the contractions not even slowing down, they let me go home. I continued to contract and slowly dilate over the next 6 weeks. Plus, just to add to the fun, my blood pressure decided to act up around week 32.  It steadily rose higher and higher each week and I started to get swelling in my face. In my 34th week I had the misfortune to develop a rare side effect- Pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome. Good times, good times.


33 weeks- with chipmunk cheeks

I woke up on Tuesday the 16th of November around 2am-ish with some serious contractions. I was 35 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I was dilated to 3 cm and 80% effaced and we were just desperately trying to hang on to make it to 37 weeks. I changed positions, tried to prop my poor wrists up on a pillow to relieve the pain of the Carpal tunnel syndrome. I managed a few more hours of sleep before getting up for good shortly before 6am. The minute I stood up I thought I’d peed my pants but when the trickle kept going I figured I’d better call the OB. They worked me in right away and my mom came over to keep the boys. I just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t explain it then and I can’t explain it now, but something was just not right. My blood pressure was mucher higher than it had been previously and I was so swollen that I had chipmunk cheeks. The OB hooked me up to the Non-stress test and monitored the baby for awhile and while she showed no signs of distress she also was not showing a lot of reactivity. So off for a ultrasound we went. Her fluid level was super low so they confirmed that I did indeed have a high slow leak in my amniotic sac and I was dilated to almost 4cm. I tried to tell the OB resident that I didn’t feel right but she brushed me off and sent me on to L&D to have the baby. Her fluid was low enough to make them concerned about a possible cord accident and I was developing pre-eclampsia.


Delivery day- Just call me Michelin Mom

I was settled in my room around noon-ish and we just waited. I was contracting well but not dilating any further so after a few hours they started pitocin. They were pumping me full of fluids and pretty soon the carpal tunnel syndrome made the pain in my wrists unbearable. Seriously, the pain from the carpal tunnel was 100 times worse than the contractions. I was sitting in the bed crying with my hands submerged in a basin of ice water trying to stop the pain. My labor was still not moving along so a couple of hours later the resident checked to see if I had another bag of waters, and I did so she broke that. Immediately, the pain went from a 5 to a 7. I was begging for an epidural but the anesthesiologist was running ragged, there were more than 14 women in L&D and every one of us was needing an epidural. He was the only anesthesiologist working L&D that day, talk about poor planning on the part of the hospital. Never withhold pain meds from a pregnant hormonal woman. It’s suicide. The nurse gave me a shot of stadol, which instead of making the pain more bearable it just made me puke. Good times, good times. Do you know how long that shit takes to get out of your system? Too damn long. Puking and contracting is not fun. Stadol is the devil. Around 4am, the anesthesiologist came in to do my epidural and I kept waiting for it to kick in and the pain to go away. Never happened. The pain didn’t even dull, it was worse than ever. I was still only 5cm dilated and around 9am, I started hearing whispers of a possible c-section. I was ready to go right that second but I had to wait for the anesthesiologist to come back and redo the epidural again. I should have known that there were going to be issues when the anesthesiologist showed up looking like a 12 year old. Turns out he was a first year resident and he was going to watch the attending put in my epidural because I was thin enough to lie on my side while they placed the epidural. Apparently that is not common and the attending anesthesiologist wanted to show the resident. I know they have to learn, great, no problem. However, the attending took forever to place my epidural because he explained every single thing while he did it. I was contracting constantly thanks to the damn Pitocin and the position he had me lying in on my side made each contraction feel like knives were stabbing at my back every 2 minutes. Finally, after 45 minutes, I had blessed relief but still only 5cm dilated. I sucked down some green jello and watched with outrage and jealousy while Mr.McHunky and my sister noshed on some yummy sushi. Bastards. They were half way through their yummy sushi when I felt weird. I was shaking and dizzy and had the most horrible pressure in the world. At first I thought it was just the hospital green jello but the nurse checked me and I was a 10. I went from 5 to 10 cm dilated in less than 15 minutes. I took great delight in watching Mr.McHunky and my sister throw out the rest of their yummy sushi. I pushed. And pushed. And pushed. I’d only had my epidural for less than an hour so I had no sensation to push. It took me an hour and 15 minutes to push her out. In true Diva fashion, Maia came out with her arm thrown dramatically across her eyes causing her elbow to do some serious damage on her way out.


Maia holding her daddy’s finger at 5 minutes old

I hope you read my warning about graphic content because this is where it gets graphic. Last chance to run away and get your tubes tied. Maia’s elbow nicked through an artery in my girly parts on the way out and then just to make a statement, it also gave me a third degree tear as a parting gift. Nice. I knew immediately that something was wrong. When you have one nurse, one resident and one baby nurse in the room for your delivery and then all of a sudden there are 3 nurses, 3 residents, 2 attendings and the baby nurse….well that’s not a good sign. The first year resident that delivered me was shoved out of the way so fast that I’m surprised her ass didn’t leave skid marks on the floor. The attendings were moving so fast that I wasn’t sure what was happening at first. One had their hand shoved all the way up in my girly parts and I remember wondering why the one with the biggest damn hands had to be the one with the arm shoved up my girly parts. As though she hadn’t had enough trauma for one day. I remember pain while the were stitching me up, someone had turned off the epidural a bit too soon. I don’t remember anything else because I passed out. Mr.McHunky filled me in though. Apparently, I hemorrhaged. Badly. I lost almost half my total blood volume in less than 5 minutes. They were stitching the tear in my artery, which accounted for part of the blood loss, when my uterus decided to act up and contribute to the hemorrhage. I woke up feeling like death. I could not even hold my baby because my wrists were completely numb thanks to the carpal tunnel syndrome. I couldn’t breastfeed unless someone held the baby for me. It was a horrible feeling. I spent the night receiving blood transfusions and meds to make sure my uterus stayed clamped down. The next morning I was feeling a bit better so the postpartum nurse decided to have me get up and try to urinate hoping I could avoid needing another catheter. Bad idea. Really bad idea. I knew when I got halfway to the bathroom that I was going down. I got the ringing in my ears, the tunnel vision and the tingling in my arms and legs. Luckily, I was almost to the toilet so I passed out and landed right on the toilet. My sister was there to capture this fine moment with the camera for all eternity. When the nurse finally revived me and got help, I was hemorrhaging again. They took me straight to the OR and performed a D&E. They found a piece of the placenta still inside, which caused the hemorrhage. I received more blood transfusions to try and replenish what I lost. The whole thing is such a haze to me, it feels like it happened to someone else. It was definitely not the delivery that I envisioned. Maia was 5 weeks early but she was a healthy 5lbs 9oz and did not require any special assistance, she was able to room in with me the whole time and we were discharged together several days later.


The day we brought Maia home

Not even 24 hours later, I was back with a blood clot in my leg. One of my calves was hot and sore with a definite swollen area but thankfully the radiologist found the clot in plenty of time to dissolve it with blood thinners. I spent another 36 hours in the hospital before leaving. During that admission, I had a chance to talk to my L&D nurse. She told me just how close I came to dying and that in her almost 15 years of working in L&D, she had never seen someone lose as much blood as quickly as I did and live. That was sobering. We did find out later on that there were several reasons that led to the traumatic birth. My bloodwork showed a virus, which probably accounted for why I felt off the morning before she was born. I also was allowed to labor for over 34 hours if you count the hours at home in early labor. And my water had been ruptured for most of those 34 hours. The amount of pitocin that they gave me over the course of my labor was another factor. Basically the resident and attending screwed up. But I’m alive and Maia was healthy and that’s what matters. Definitely not your average birth story, but when did we ever do anything average around here?

Maia’s First Year: