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Watch what you say… tiny bones forming in baby’s ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you’re interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

Week Sixteen Highlights:
How Far Along: 16 weeks, 1 day
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +5 pound so far

Maternity Clothes: All maternity, all the time
Gender: We find out in 2 weeks; Matt and I both predict BOY but the kids are saying GIRL
Best Moment this Week: Starting to feel the little “flutters” inside as the baby moves around
Movement: YES, finally feeling the little flutters
Food Cravings: Cherry Cheesecake, Sweet Tea, Fruit
What I Miss: Nothing this week; enjoying the pregnancy
Sleep: Uncomfortable, I’m a tummy sleeper and I can’t get comfy on my side
What I am Looking Forward to: Finding out what we’re having in 2 weeks
Symptoms: Excessive Tinkling, Supercharged emotions, Pregnancy Amnesia, Nosebleeds and Headaches

And….my 16 week belly pictures as promised. Be Kind.

I threw in a bare belly picture for your viewing entertainment. I forgot to take a frontal shot so you could see my cool tank. It says “I can grow people”. Ha!

I had my 16 week appointment this morning and it was one of the scariest prenatal visit I have ever had. They could not find the heartbeat. It took 30 minutes, 5 nurses and one worried OB to find it. I was about a minute away from heading down to the ultrasound room to confirm a fetal demise when the OB found the heartbeat. She thinks I might have an anterior placenta, which made it hard to hear the heartbeat. Longest 30 minutes of my life. Good thing they took my blood pressure first because it would have been very high by that point. Everything else looks good and we will hopefully find out what we are having in 2 weeks when I have my anatomy growth ultrasound done.


Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby’s legs now outmeasure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably still can’t feel the movements.

Week Fifteen Highlights:
How Far Along: 15 weeks, 2 days
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +3 pound so far
Maternity Clothes: All maternity, all the time (I got some cute ones this time around)
Best Moment this Week: Watching Mase discover my expanding belly and yell “Hi Baby” to my tummy every morning
Movement: None yet
Food Cravings: Fruit Salad, Pizza, Sweet Tea
What I Miss: Going out without having to tinkle every 20 minutes in a public bathroom *shudder*
Sleep: Uncomfortable, I’m a tummy sleeper and I can’t get comfy on my side
What I am Looking Forward to: Feeling the baby move
Symptoms: Round Ligament Pain, Excessive Tinkling and Supercharged emotions, Pregnancy Amnesia


Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

Week Fourteen Highlights:

How Far Along: 14 weeks, 3 days
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +3 pound so far
Maternity Clothes: Completely in maternity clothes now and so much more comfortable
Best Moment this Week: Feeling the return of my energy, this is my favorite time in pregnancy
Movement: None yet
Food Cravings: Jelly Beans, Coke Zero, Fruit
What I Miss: Sleeping through the night without getting up to pee 4 times
Sleep: Fine except for the frequent potty breaks
What I am Looking Forward to: Feeling the baby move- with Mase I started feeling movement at 15 weeks
Symptoms: Shortness of Breath, Round Ligament Pain, Excessive Tinkling and Supercharged emotions


Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords… savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby’s tummy. (Much more convenient.)Week Thirteen Highlights:

How Far Along: 13 weeks, 1 day
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +2 pound so far (funny story coming soon about weight)
Maternity Clothes: Still Rockin‘ the maternity jeans but I got some cute maternity tops this week
Best Moment this Week: No nausea, no nausea…..NO NAUSEA! Helllllllo 2nd Trimester, I am so glad to see you.
Movement: None yet
Food Cravings: Pasta, M&M’s, Coke Zero
What I Miss: Standing up without the searing round ligament pain
Sleep: Better this week, thanks to the Tylenol PM
What I am Looking Forward to: Wearing all the cute maternity clothes I just bought on ebay (post coming soon about this)
Symptoms: Fatigue, Shortness of Breath, Round Ligament Pain

I decided to only do a belly pic every 4 weeks. I took one this morning and it looks exactly the same as last week. I think the difference will be more noticeable if I do it once a month instead. So the next belly pic will be at week 16. I’ll be sporting a big ole belly bump by then, I do believe.

The Beverly Hillbillies

I have managed to thoroughly piss off the neighbors. I don’t remember if I’ve talked about them before and I’m far too lazy to go back and look. They are the Beverly Hillbillies, minus the cement pond. The house is in total disrepair, they’ve received so many notices from the neighborhood to clean that shit up that it’s not even funny anymore. The grass is taller than their youngest child, hobos could be living in there and nobody would know. They leave their trashcans at the curb all week and just walk the trashbags to the curb on trash day. The front door is broken off the hinges and sitting on the front porch, they’ve nailed a huge piece of plywood over the opening so nobody can get in the house. They screened in the back porch but didn’t do it properly so it’s falling down. Instead of repairing it they took 10 2×4’s and propped it up from the sides. It’s that bad. Oh, and I cannot forget to mention that they have written all over the windows “Let it snow. Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays.” All over every window along the back of the house with white paint. It has been there since December…..of 2008!


Now we don’t live in a super upper class, multi million dollar neighborhood but we do live in a nice middle class neighborhood with an active HOA that has many rules. I do not understand how these people have been allowed to let their house get this bad. But alas it has happened. We, along with many other neighbors, have made report after report to both the HOA and the City code enforcement office. That usually gets them to clean it up for a short time, then it goes downhill again.


I usually just roll my eyes as I walk past. This morning however, came the straw that broke the pregnant woman’s patience. This morning they crossed a line that I didn’t even realize needed to be drawn.


This morning my house got peed on by a goat.


Yes. A Goat. Named Fred.


I was walking the dog this morning and saw something jump over the split rail fence that separates our houses. I thought it was their dog so I walked over, thinking to take the dog back over to them. Instead I came face to face with a goat. Pissing on the side of my house. Wearing a collar and name tag that said “Fred”. For a moment I just stared, thinking surely I was hallucinating. Then Fred started bleating at me. And I ran like a little school girl. Oh yes, I did. I don’t do farm animals.


I called the HOA president, who promptly called Animal Control. They showed up a couple of hours later. I heard lots of yelling then saw Fred chasing one of the guys. Finally I saw them loading Fred the Goat, several chickens and a friggin pot belly pig into the van. What the hell?


A group of nosy neighbors were standing by my house watching the scene unfold…okay, fine we were gossiping. We were all trying to figure out where the hell they were keeping the pig and the chickens when we saw the mom coming towards us full force. I just have to mention that these are not small people. They are part amazon. They are intimidating at best, threatening on a bad day. Today was a bad day. The mom was screaming at the top of her lungs, calling us names and going on about how we were going to hell. She looked like a crazy person. I wish you could have seen the rest of the neighbors trying to decide whether they should run for their lives or if the show would be worth the risk of bodily harm. Most figured the show would be worth the risk. Boy were they right. The mom spent half an hour switching between screaming at us and trying to break her animals out of the back of the van.


Eventually animal control called the police because she was lying prostrate in front of their van so they could not leave. The police came, issued her a citation for having farm animals in an urban neighborhood and then she got arrested. That’s right. They arrested her. Wanna know why? I wish I had it on video, my friends. She threw a trashcan at one of the officers, she spit at the other one, she started beating the animal control guy with her broom and then she peed on the cop car. Apparently that’s where the goat learned the behavior from. Ahem.


So she got hauled away in handcuffs, the farm animals have been relocated to a more appropriate home and the cops called city code enforcement based on what they saw at the house. We also found out that the chickens and the pig were living inside the house. The only way it could have gotten better is if they had tasered her.


She deserved it. Her goat peed on my house.