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PREGNANCY WEEK TWENTY-FOUR: AN EAR OF CORN

Your baby’s growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts him at just over a pound. Since he’s almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), he cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but his body is filling out proportionally and he’ll soon start to plump up. His brain is also growing quickly now, and his taste buds are continuing to develop. His lungs are developing “branches” of the respiratory “tree” as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help his air sacs inflate once he hits the outside world. His skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

How Far Along: 24 weeks, 3 days
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +9 pound so far

Maternity Clothes: All maternity, all the time
Gender: We’re having a BABY GIRL!!!!!
Best Moment this Week: Reaching true age of viability
Movement: All the time!
Food Cravings: Cheeseburgers, cantaloupe, Iced Coffee (decaf, no hate mail)
What I Miss: Getting off the couch or bed without significant effort
Sleep: Wonderful now that I take 1/2 an Ambien every night
What I am Looking Forward to: Finishing up our big baby purchases
Symptoms: Pelvic pain & pressure, Braxton Hicks contractions


PREGNANCY WEEK TWENTY THREE: A MANGO

Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she’s more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby’s increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won’t faze her when she hears them outside the womb.

How Far Along: 23 weeks, 5 days
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +9 pound so far

Maternity Clothes: All maternity, all the time
Gender: We’re having a BABY GIRL!!!!!
Best Moment this Week: Making our first big baby equipment purchase
Movement: All the time!
Food Cravings: Sweet Tea, cheeseburgers, cantaloupe
What I Miss: Walking without pain, being able to handle the 90+ degree heat with no problems
Sleep: Wonderful now that I take 1/2 an Ambien every night
What I am Looking Forward to: We are only a couple days away from that magical 24 week viability status
Symptoms: Mood Swings, Pelvic pain & pressure, Braxton Hicks contractions

It’s been a long long week, which is why I’m almost at my 24th week before I got this posted. It’s the last week of school so it’s been filled with parties and field days and….stuff. Swim team practices kicked into high gear for Ty and my mom came down to visit. Whew. A lot going on. Hopefully next week will calm down because I have some posts saved in drafts that I need to finish.



PREGNANCY WEEK TWENTY-TWO: A SPAGHETTI SQUASH

At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. Her lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and she’s even developing tiny tooth buds beneath her gums. Her eyes have formed, but her irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you’d be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her body and the deep wrinkles on her skin, which she’ll sport until she adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside her belly, her pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

How Far Along: 22 weeks, 2 days
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +9 pound so far

Maternity Clothes: All maternity, all the time
Gender: We’re having a BABY GIRL!!!!!
Best Moment this Week: Deciding on her first name
Movement: Mostly while I’m trying to sleep at night
Food Cravings: French Fries, Milkshakes, Chic-fil-A….yummmmmm
What I Miss: Sleeping- finally got a script for Ambien this morning at the OB’s
Sleep: Very little…and I miss it. A Lot.
What I am Looking Forward to: Choosing her middle name
Symptoms: Holy Heartburn, Mood Swings, Pelvic pain & pressure, Braxton Hicks contractions
I had my 22 week appointment this morning. I wore my super cool Rockstar Mom’s tank that I showed you in my last weekly update picture. I was the envy of all the other fat ladies in the waiting room. It’s the little things, people.

On a more concerning note- my cervix has already begun to soften which is not so great. I’ve had a bunch of Braxton Hicks contractions and having experienced pre-term labor twice before, I knew it was a possibility. No dialation yet but I’ve been ordered to take it easy. School is out next week, taking it easy should prove interesting.



PREGNANCY WEEK TWENTY-ONE: A BANANA

Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they’ve already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.

How Far Along: 21 weeks, 4 days
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +6 pound so far

Maternity Clothes: All maternity, all the time
Gender: We’re having a BABY GIRL!!!!!
Best Moment this Week: Buying her very first little outfit
Movement: All the time, I swear she’s trying to bust her way out
Food Cravings: French Fries, Ice Cream, Cherry Cheese Danishes
What I Miss: Sneezing, Coughing and Laughing without peeing on myself
Sleep: Pretty good minus the heartburn
What I am Looking Forward to: Finalizing her name
Symptoms: Holy Heartburn, Mood Swings, Intense Hunger

And since I missed the 20 week photo, here is a 21 week belly picture:

And here’s another just because I absolutely love this maternity tank by Rockstar Mamas:



Dear Post-Menopausal Bitch

Seriously? You chose to come eat at a restaurant known for loud music and foot stampin’ good times? And on a Tuesday, which anyone with Google should know is Kids Eat Free night? The eye rolling was annoying, the huffing and sighing was really juvenile and the muttering under your breath was downright bitchy. It’s KIDS EAT FREE night, one might assume there will be children. If you want to eat in a quiet, peaceful environment then I suggest you choose somewhere that does not advertise their KIDS EAT FREE status on a giant sign outside the front doors…which I must add is visible from the main road. Idiot.

I was willing to overlook your exceedingly bad manners because you were obviously not from ’round here. You didn’t have to tell us, believe me, we could tell. The minute you stood up to voice your complaints to the manager and I got a close up look at your stonewashed, skin tight Jordache jeans with the super cool zippers up the back ankle and the uber stylish zebra print tube top….well I just knew that you weren’t from ’round here. Anyhoo, I overlooked your bad manners, assuming that you were in the middle of a hot flash or perhaps your Depends was leaking. My children were not misbehaving, they were sitting down and they were relatively quiet in comparison to the music blaring. They certainly were not disturbing your dinner in any way. So, when you chose to lean over and pop my child’s balloon animal with your fork….that, my friend, will not be overlooked. Don’t let the fact that I’m sporting a big ole belly lull you into a false sense of security. Cause this mama will take you down in your stonewashed Jordache jeans.

You made my child cry when he was doing nothing wrong. The gasp of horror from other diners around us should have clued you in that you were being a big bitch. Apparently you are slow to catch on. So I helped you. I truly did not know that ice cream could stick like that to hairspray. It was highly educational and extremely entertaining on many levels. Consider yourself lucky, I almost chose to use my fork to pop those balloons you were sporting on your chest.

Please honey, you’re at least 65 years old. Nobody thought those puppies were real.

Sincerely,
The bitch who hopes you learned your lesson about messing around with other people’s kids because the next mama might throw something other than ice cream at your head