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THE SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE

If someone was going to make a movie of my life, what would songs would be on the soundtrack? What songs represent specific time periods in my life? What parts of my life would be important enough to be included in the movie and what would not even merit a mention or in this case, a scene?

Song #1- Hey There Delilah by Plain White T’s. Delilah is my childhood nickname. It started as a joke because nobody could ever pronounce my first name correctly, I was always called Delilah. Pretty soon, it stuck. So this song would encompass the early years of my life.

Song #2-  You’ve Got A Friend by James Taylor. This song would be a perfect representation of my relationship with my best friend when we were in high school. She saw me through some horribly difficult things.

Song #3- Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison. This song would play during the time I met and fell in love with Matt. His nickname for me has always been Brown Eyes and he used to sing this song to me. In fact, in his phone I’m still listed under Brown Eyes.

Song #4- Marry Me by Train. I love this song. It would obviously represent the time period around our wedding and the beginning of our life together.

Song #5- Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey. Oh this song. This song was my mantra during our journey to adopt Ty from foster care. I would play this song on repeat at top volume in the car after visitation or court. I needed the reminder to not give up.

Song #6- In My Daughter’s Eyes by Martina McBride. This song represents my miracle pregnancy with Maia and how I felt to give birth to my daughter.

Song #7- Beautiful Life by Fisher. I love this song and I’ve listened to it on repeat during some of my hardest days. This song would represent the years we spent growing our family and enjoying life.

Song #8- Zoe Jane by Staind. Obviously, this is the song that inspired my own Zoey Jayne’s name. Matt chose her middle name after this song. Initially I resisted because I wasn’t sure I wanted to name my daughter after a song but when I listened to the lyrics and found out it was a song that he wrote to his baby daughter, well I couldn’t resist the sentimental heart tug. This song would represent the completion of our family, the last baby. It would also represent the calm before the storm on the horizon.

Song #9- Jesus, Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood. This song reminds me of some of my more ferverent prayers during those dark months. In my movie it would represent the black cloud of postpartum depression and anxiety. It would represent the depth of my desperation for someone to help me.

Song #10- Recover by Natasha Bedingfield. Another song that I have listened to on repeat on quite a few bad days. This song would symbolize finding out about the betrayal and the beginning of our journey to repair our marriage as well as my journey to repair myself.

Bonus Track- Faithfully by Journey. This song would be the very last track and it would represent the renewal of the commitment that Matt and I made to each other. It would represent the healing and the light at the end of the tunnel.

I wonder who would play me in the movie? Hmmmm…All these songs were taken directly off my playlist and now that I see them all in one list I realize just how ecclectic my taste is music really has become. Ha!



2012 BUCKET LIST

I suck at New Year’s Resolutions. No really, I do. It’s a proven fact- just ask Matt. I did much better with my 65 in 365 challenge so instead of the dreaded “New Year’s Resolutions” I am making a Bucket List for the upcoming year. I figured it might as well be a “Bucket List” since the world is supposed to end and everything. I talked about some lifestyle goals in my last post and this is the list of ways I am going to accomplish those lifestyle goals. And I’m not limiting myself to just this list. I will add to it or revise it as necessary through the year.

Streamlining Our Lives
*Clean out storage and entryway closet
*Clean out and organize kids closets
*Clean out and organize master closet
*Upload recipes online and donate cookbooks
*Clean out and organize garage
*Immediately organize and back up photos when I import them
*Donate all outgrown kids toys and clothes monthly
*Cancel all magazine subs, remove myself from mailing lists, switch all bills to electronic delivery
*Limit kids extracurricular activites to 2 each
*Learn to say no to things that don’t fit our lifestyle vision
*Find a home for everything in this house or donate it
*Give pantry a complete makeover

Focus on Family
*Plan 10 date nights with Matt
*Plan Ski Vacation
*Plan Florida Vacation
*Plan 2 beach trips
*Do family nights twice a month
*Eat out as a family twice a month
*Watch 30 new movies with Matt
*Start 3 new family traditions
*Plan at least one family outing per month
*Try or visit at least 3 new things/places
*Have 4 girls days with Maia
*Plan overnight trip for our anniversary
*Hire a regular babysitter
*Make unplugged family dinners a habit
*Start family breakfasts on Sunday’s

Health and Fitness
*Take each kid to dentist twice for cleanings
*Get every one phsyicals
*Have Mase evaluated for speech therapy
*Sign Ty up for swim team
*Buy treadmill and run at least 10 miles per week
*Eliminate all soda from diet
*Increase daily intake of fruits and vegetables
*Drink 8 glasses of water per day
*Schedule Matt’s Big V

Household Management
*Cut grocery budget by 1/3
*Redo will, guardianships and trusts
*Organize household files
*Transition to a firmer daily schedule
*Increase savings account by $7,000
*Update chore/allowance system for kids
*Cook dinner at least 5 nights per week
*Start a monthly menu system

Family and Friends
*Plan and host annual superbowl party
*Plan and host Thanksgiving
*Plan and host block party
*Plan and host 5 birthday parties for kids
*Enroll Mase in 4 day a week preschool
*Enroll Zoey in 2 day a week MDO
*Get involved in family programs at church
*Attend at least 2 parties sponsored by HOA
*Plan summer bash for kids
*Plan Halloween party for kids

Finding Myself
*Enjoy blogging again and enjoy the freedom of being able to be myself
*Resume tweeting all my random thoughts
*Rebuild my wardrobe with purpose (goodbye 1999, HELLO 2012)
*Read 25 books
*Maintain hairstyle and highlights
*Wean off all PPD meds
*Plan 2 shopping trips to H&M
*Create my happiness and thankful journal
*Go to at least 4 Mom’s Nights Out
*Blog about my journey through PPD/PPA
*Find my bliss
*Step out of my comfort zone and try at least 5 new things
*Renew old friendships
*Accept my body and it’s flaws
*Resolve my lingering food issues
*Find my perfect jeans

Love our Home
*Redo playroom/living room
*Redo master bedroom
*Redo kids bathroom
*Create picture collage wall
*Redo boys bedroom
*Finish Zoey’s nursery
*Create and/or update seasonal decor
*Replace all brass fixtures in house
*Paint entire first floor
*Display my snowbabies collection
*Buy new dining room chairs
*Update pictures in frames and add new framed pictures thru house
*Update landscaping in front yard
*Update outside entryway
*Replace carpet on first floor

Making and Preserving Memories
*Do kids memory boxes
*Do kids baby books
*Have professional family pictures done
*Save all home movies to DVD’s
*Organize family photos
*Complete my Project 365
*Actually do some of those cool ideas for preserving memories on Pinterest



HELLOOOOOO 2012

Hey 2011- Suck it. I’m so over you…..

I am ready for 2012! So ready for a fresh start, a new year, a shift in our lives. Matt and I have been talking for months about the kind of lifestyle we want for our family and we have some goals to reach that lifestyle in the upcoming year. I have a more detailed list that is coming soon but wanted to document our goals separately. We’ve already taken major steps during 2011 towards the vision we have for our family but we know we have more changes to make. One of the biggest life changing goals was for Matt to find a new job and he did. In June he accepted a promotion that moved him into the investments division of the bank. It came with a very nice raise and even more importantly, a much more family friendly work environment. He has the option to telecommute when necessary and he is not tied down to a 9-5 workday with a boss (or clients) micromanaging his day. It has been awesome for decreasing his stress level and increasing his job satisfaction as well as for allowing us to have the kind of family life we’ve envisioned for years. It feels like we are finally moving in the direction that we’ve wanted to go for a long time. We are really excited to see what the year holds for our family.

Lifestyle Goal #1- Streamlining Our Lives
This includes everything from decluttering our house to being more purposeful about what activites we commit to.

Lifestyle Goal #2- Focus on Family
Our family, that is. We want to do more activities with the kids, plan more vacations, make more day trips. We want to spend more time out of the house this year, more spontaneous day trips, exposing the kids to new things.

Lifestyle Goal #3- Health and Fitness
This includes everything from yearly physicals and dental exams for the family to better eating habits to more physical activity.

Lifestyle Goal #4- Household Management
It takes work to run a household of 6. There’s a lot of coordinating and planning and shuffling that has to be done for everything to run efficiently. I have some specific goals in mind to make running this household smoother and less stressful.

Lifestyle Goal #5- Family and Friends
We were a little reclusive last year, for obvious reasons. But now I’m ready to back into the world. We want to go to more events, have more parties, enjoy our friends more. Plus the kids really got the short end of the stick last year as far as playdates and parties. That will change this year.

Lifestyle Goal #6- Finding Myself
This is a big one for me this year. It’s certainly no secret that I’ve been struggling for the past year and a half. This year I am determined to put all that shit behind me. I will find my way out of this stupid PPD cycle crap. I will be free and I will be happy. I will enjoy my life.

Lifestyle Goal #7- Love Our Home
We have considered our options this last year. Stay in our home, move to a new home…..we could move if we wanted to but it really doesn’t make good financial sense to sell and move right now with the economy and real estate market in the toilet. Instead, I will be working on turning our current home into what we want it to be. We love our neighborhood and our neighbors. The kids love their school. So we will stay here and I will spend time this year updating and redoing our home.

Lifestyle Goal #8- Making and Preserving Memories
The kids are growing so fast. So very very fast. I’m already forgetting things that I thought I would remember forever. This year I will spend time preserving memories. I have lots of ideas on how I’m going to do that. On top of that I want to make sure that we make some new memories too.

Those are our main goals for our family for 2012. More details coming soon…..



I’m An Aunt

I just became an aunt for the second time in the space of a few months.  First Matt’s older brother and his wife had their first child in September. Now my sister and her fiance have had their little boy. I got to be there for the delivery and I was so very excited to be a part of it. A part of me was so sad to know that I will never give birth again but a bigger part of me is really happy with where I am in life right now. Happy with my family just how it is and content with whatever the future brings. It’s been a long road to get to this point so I’m enjoying it.

My sister meeting her son for the first time

Baby Jax- 5lbs 15 oz and 19″ long

A beautiful little red head

The Happy Family



WEEK THIRTY-SIX: A CRENSHAW MELON

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She’s shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement. At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term.

How Far Along: 36 weeks, 1 day
Total Weight Gain/Loss: +21 pound so far
Maternity Clothes: All maternity, all the time

Gender: We’re having a BABY GIRL!!!!!
Best Moment this Week: I’m almost there….
Movement: All the time!
Food Cravings: TGI Friday’s loaded potato skins…pretty much anything with carbs!
What I Miss: Pointing my toes and flexing my legs without cramps
Sleep: Sleep? What’s that?
What I am Looking Forward to: Reaching full term…5 days to go
Symptoms: Pelvic pain & pressure, Contractions, Shortness of breath, Back Pain, Heartburn and Reflux, Leg Cramps

These contractions are kicking my butt.  They are very regular and getting much stronger. In fact, I’m thinking I might be headed over to L&D a little later just to get checked out if I’m still this uncomfortable. But first we have to go to Target. Nothing comes before Target! Ha! Matt keeps joking that it will be hilarious if I go into active labor ON labor day. He really needs to stop that. It’d be a shame for his baby to be born while he’s still recovering from a well deserved head injury.

Here is my big ole 36 week baby belly: