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He Said, She Said: Sick Kids

 
 
 
 
{You know all those funny and/or stupid little moments that happen in every marriage but nobody ever talks about? Well welcome to He Said, She Said: True Stories where I give you an unprecedented glimpse inside the marital dysfunction. You are welcome.}
 
 

Setting the Scene: We have 3 kids who have fallen victim to the latest respiratory virus going around these parts. With this virus has come coughing- lots and lots of coughing. They are coughing day and night. Matt and I have been taking turns getting up with the kids but he is somewhat less than cooperative at times. The following conversation took place around 3:30am one day last week after we were woken up for the millionth time that night by a kid coughing.

 

She Said: It’s your turn.

 

He Said: For what?

 

She Said: To get up and go check on your daughter who is currently hacking up a lung.

 

He Said: Ok…snore.

 

10 minutes later.

 

She Said: Are you going?

 

He Said: Going where?

 

She Said: To check on Zoey. She’s still coughing. She might need more medicine and some water.

 

He Said: Ok…..snore.

 

5 minutes later.

 

She Said: I’m getting tired of asking. GET UP. Go check on Zoey. It’s your turn. I swear if you don’t get out of this bed right now to go check on her I’m going to hurt you. 

 

He Said: No need for threats. I’m going…..snore.

 

THUMP.

 

He Said: Owww. What the hell? Why did you kick me onto the floor? That’s gonna leave a mark.

 

She Said: Since you’re up, go check on Zoey.

 

The End.

 

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Current Happenings

1. Our across the street neighbor passed away this past weekend. I’m still in shock. He was a young 55 and such a nice man. They’ve been our neighbors since we moved here 9 years ago and they’re the best neighbors. I’m just stunned. He left behind an amazing wife and 2 sons- one in college and one in high school. I saw him every morning walking their dog while I was taking the little kids to school. We would smile, wave, and exchange the typical pleasantries. When I took the kids to school this morning I found myself automatically looking for him only to remember what happened. A not-so-subtle reminder that life is short.

 

2. My to-be-read collection on my Kindle is out of control y’all. I think I’m up to around 300 books that are waiting to be read. Clearly I have an addiction. I buy books when they go on sale to 0.99 or free and then another book I’ve been waiting for gets released and the other gets pushed back. Out Of Control. I have to stop buying new books and read the ones I already have. But there are so many great new books. It’s a dilemma. 

 

3. I saw the most horrific thing in Wal*Mart while grocery shopping. Seriously, if I hadn’t been totally terrified of this woman I would have taken a picture. She must have been close to 400 pounds. She was wearing a strapless bikini top and short shorts underneath a sheer nightie with black pleather stiletto hooker boots that came up to the top of her knee. The boots were so tight and her legs so large that her fat was overlapping over the top of the boots. Normally I’m of the opinion that if you can rock it, do it. But this time….I had to judge. Because she bent over and her boobs fell out. And now I’m scarred for life.

 

4. Our weather has gone crazy. Mother Nature has clearly been hitting the sauce. In 4 days we went from 59 degrees to 38 degrees to 64 degrees and then down to 23 degrees. What? No wonder everyone has the sniffles- our immune systems are in shock. Get it together, Mother Nature.

 

5. I got a glimpse of the man my son is going to be this week. A strange man came to the door while I was home alone with all 4 kids. I normally don’t answer the door to strangers but I was already on my way outside to walk Bailey when he was walking up the front stairs. I don’t know what is was about this man but I just got that feeling- the one that makes you stand up straight and check out your surroundings. He just made me nervous and I gave Bailey more leash than I would normally to keep this man from walking all the way up my stairs. He asked if he could clean the gutters for $100 cash. I declined and he got a little belligerent. Ty was playing basketball with a couple of friends in the driveway and he heard this man start to get loud. Ty and his friends were quick to step up and make their presence known. Normally I don’t think a 13 year old would be intimidating but Ty is almost 5’10 and 150 pounds- he’s the size of a man now. I was so proud, even though I could have handled it myself with no problem. I feel sorry for any of the boys who come to this house wanting to date his sisters. Ha!

 

That’s pretty much all that’s happened around here in the last week. We live boring lives. But that’s okay, too much excitement is exhausting.

 

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Mase Turns 6

Today, at 5:36pm, Mase turns 6 years old. I can’t believe how fast he has grown up. I swear it feels like I was just pregnant with him and now he is a big 6 year old. 

 

MBD11

 

 

He is the most affectionate of my kids- always looking for a snuggle or a hug. He thrives on physical contact and is still the first one to give me a hug when he gets home from school in the afternoons. He loves his siblings fiercely and as much as he likes to pick on them and argue with them, he is the first to give them a hug if they are upset. 

 

He is my wild child. He loves to run, and climb, and be active. He rarely sits still and has managed to talk the other kids into some questionable circumstances in the near past. He climbs on anything that stands still- the stair banister, the walls, the doors….I think he’s part monkey. 

 

MBDC1

 

He loves school. He loves learning to read and doing math. He has a serious crush on his teacher and will do anything to stay in her good graces. We’re 5 months into school and he has yet to have even a hint of a bad behavior day at school. He is a chick magnet in his class and accepts the attention of the little girls with equal parts amusement and embarrassment. 

 

His favorite place to go is the big library where he can happily spend hours reading books in the kids section. His favorite thing in the world to eat is Chinese Chicken Lo Mien and he can polish off an entire adult portion by himself. He never stops eating and yet he is the smallest of my kids- weighing in right around 40 pounds. 

 

MBD6

 

He is determined. When he decides to do something he is going to do it. He will get frustrated but he won’t give up. He will keep trying until he gets it right. He was given a pair of roller skates and spent hours learning how to skate. No matter how many falls he took, he got right back up and tried again. He is a resilient kid who doesn’t care what others say about him. I can see him being a leader, not a follower.  He has an inner confidence that will allow him to follow his own path.

 

He is a very emotional kid. He can go from super happy to very angry in a short second. He has always been my volatile child- the most difficult pregnancy, the scariest delivery, the most challenging baby….but he is so loving and affectionate that it’s easy to overlook his sometimes unpredictable temperament.

 

MBDC3

 

He loves his family deeply and cannot stand to be away from us. He has never spent the night at his grandparents house because he doesn’t want to be away from his mom and dad. He prefers to play with his siblings rather than go to his friends houses. He hated every minute of preschool and barely tolerated his entrance into Kindergarten. He makes friends easily and quickly with his outgoing attitude but he always prefers family. 

 

MBDC2

 

He has made our lives infinitely richer and we are blessed to be his family. I cannot wait to see where life takes this amazing little boy. He has grown from a very colicky and difficult baby into a feisty and fun little boy who makes me laugh every day. I can’t believe just how much I love this kid. It’s overwhelming. 

 

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10 Signs You Might Be Battling Depression

I firmly believe in finding the funny in life, even when your real life doesn’t seem to be anything funny at any particular moment. So for your viewing pleasure, today I’m sharing 10 signs that you might be battling depression. All 10 of these are ripped right from my real life over the past couple of weeks. I should feel shame….but I don’t. 

 

1. Instead of doing that incredibly large pile of laundry staring at you from the floor you buy everyone new socks and undies while at the store. 

 

2. Dumping 6 packs of shrimp flavored oodles of noodles soup into one pot and adding a bag of steamed mixed veggies seems like an appropriate dinner at least twice a week.

 

3. The new season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo started last week and you have yet to watch the episode saved on the DVR.

 

4. The amount of wine purchased during your weekly grocery trip has the cashier raising an eyebrow and inquiring if you’re having a party. You’re not. 

 

5. You faked a contagious infection when one of your kids accidentally answered your phone when the school called requesting volunteers for a field trip.

 

6. You auto-renewed 17 books at the library even though the kids have read every one of them because the thought of searching the house to find all of them made you want to hide in the closet.

 

7. You totally forgot about Girls Night Out. At a wine bar. 

 

8. Your idea of cleaning the house consisted of shoving anything lying around into the walk-in hall closet and calling it a day.

 

9. You found a container of whipped cream cheese frosting in the pantry and ate the whole thing with a spoon and a glass of wine. And you feel no shame. 

 

10. You can’t muster up the energy to go to Target even though you know all their winter boots are on sale.

 

Luckily I’m feeling much better. Who knows how much more pathetic next week’s list would be? More pathetic than cream cheese frosting from a can? Scary thought. 

 

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He Said, She Said: Ice Cream Hoarding

 
 
 
 
{You know all those funny and/or stupid little moments that happen in every marriage but nobody ever talks about? Well welcome to He Said, She Said: True Stories where I give you an unprecedented glimpse inside the marital dysfunction. You are welcome.}
 
 

Setting the Scene: Matt was trying to dig out something from the inner depths of the freezer the other day and had to take practically everything out to reach his desired item. The following conversation took place once he realized just how many containers of my Ben & Jerry’s ice cream were crammed in the freezer.

 

He Said: So, is there a reason why we have so many containers of ice cream?

 

She Said: I like variety.

 

He Said: I counted 9. Some aren’t even open.

 

She Said: I’m not seeing your point.

 

He Said: Um…..that’s insane. How’s that for a point?

 

She Said: They’re all different flavors and some are limited edition.

 

He Said: Limited Edition. Limited Edition ice cream? Really?

 

She Said: Yep. So I buy them when I see them and keep them until I crave that particular flavor. 

 

He Said: You’re a hoarder. An ice cream hoarder.

 

She Said: I can live with that. 

 

He Said: And you realize there is more ice cream than vegetables in this freezer?

 

She Said: Again. I can live with that.

 

He Said: We should probably get you some therapy.

 

She Said: Probably.

 

The End.

 

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