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5 Thoughts Mom Have At The End Of The School Year

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We are T-11 school days left in this year for the 2 youngest kids. Tyler is done for the year and Maia has 5 days left. I’m almost there. I’ve almost made it, y’all. I’m running seriously low on energy, brain cells, and cares at this point. My brain has hit the end of the school year wall. It’s a real thing. Don’t believe me? Here are 5 thoughts that ran through my very tired brain in the last few days. 

1. We just spent 3 hours at the pool. That totally counts as a bath, right? They smell good- like sunscreen and chlorine. The chemicals in the pool are even better than soap. They sanitize the pool water from all those little germy gross toddlers so they surely cleaned my kids off better than the kids body wash. Yep. They’re good. No shower time fights tonight. 

2. I have 7 slices of bread, 4 slices of ham, a half can of tuna, a can of olives, and 3 bananas. I think we’re good. I don’t have to go to the grocery store for a couple more days. I can make it work. Ooh, there’s still 8 cheese cubes left. Boom. We’re good. 

3. What kind of sadistic teacher sends a project home in May? Seriously. What is the purpose behind this? I’m not doing this. No. It’s going to require glue. And glitter. And a poster board. I don’t have any more construction paper. I’m going to have to go to Wal*Mart. Why is this happening to me? 

4. If they turn their underwear inside out and I spray their clothes with Axe I can do that laundry tomorrow. I just freed up 2 hours. More margarita time in the hot tub for me. 

5. If one more end of the year event paper comes out of a book bag I swear I’m going to home school next year. I swear it. Well I’ll think about it anyway. Probably not. Where’s my calendar? Damn it. 

T-11 days. I can make it. If there’s a God in heaven I can make it. 

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He Said, She Said: The Wall

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Setting the Scene: I am so over this school year, y’all. And it’s starting to show in my household. The following conversation took place one morning last week while in the middle of the school morning rush. 

He Said: Did Tyler take a lunch today?

She Said: I don’t know.

He Said: Didn’t you pack him one?

She Said: Nope. He’s almost 17 years old. If he can’t toss a sandwich into a lunch bag by now then it’s pretty much a lost cause.

He Said: Alrighty then. Did Zoey take a shower last night?

She Said: I don’t know.

He Said: You didn’t remind her?

She Said: Nope. We spent 2 hours at the pool and another hour in the hot tub. She’s good.

He Said: Ok. Did Mason do his homework?

She Said: Look dude. I have nothing left for the rest of the school year. I’m done. I hit the wall.

He Said: But they still have a few weeks left. You can’t hit the wall yet.

She Said: I do not care. They’re all wearing clothes and shoes with hair and teeth brushed. That’s all I’m capable of doing at this point.

He Said: Ok I get it. End of the year is hard.

She Said: You don’t get it. Now go to work and talk to the other dad’s about your crazy wives before I make you chaperone all of their end of the year parties in my place.

He Said: So what’s for dinner tonight?

She Said: I will cut you.

The End.

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5 Things Friday {5.19.17}

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We are winding down the school year, y’all. Tyler has 2 exams today and 1 on Monday and he is DONE with his sophomore year. Praise Jesus! The other kids still have a couple more weeks to go. But we’re almost there. It was a productive week in our house. I got a lot of projects finished and knocked a bunch of stuff off my to do list!

1. I finally finished the pantry. If you follow me on Instagram then you saw the saga with ANTS in the pantry. Gross. So I pulled every single thing out, scrubbed and sanitized it, and bought new air tight containers. It was a job. A long, ugly, job. But it is much more functional now. 

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2. On Mother’s Day, Matt power washed the back deck and the wooden furniture that my dad built so I could start staining the furniture. My dad built this amazing bar from scrap wood he had in his shop. It’s awesome and I cannot wait to put it to good use this summer. I have grand plans for this back deck to make it more functional and they are already under way. I can’t wait to share the transformation with you. 

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3. Our neighborhood pool opened on Sunday and the kids were so happy. That water was FRIGID! They jumped right in and had a great time. I sat on a patio chair and read a book. Everyone was happy. I can’t wait to spend long summer days at the pool with friends. It’s going to rock. 

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4. Matt and I had some errands to run earlier in the week and the girls didn’t want to come but Mason did. He tagged along and had a great time. It’s so nice being able to take kids one at a time and spend some time with them. We got ice cream and had so much fun with him. He has the best sense of humor. 

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5. Matt put together the first of several patio sets that I’ve ordered. We were supposed to go to Tyler’s end of the year athletic banquet but he had to study for 3 exams the next morning so he opted not to attend. He studied for hours and hours. It’s nice to see him actually taking school seriously for once. Ha! So Matt got to spend the evening putting together my new patio dining set. I love it. I found it on clearance on Target.com for a steal. It’s the perfect size for what I needed. The kids love it! They’ve eaten breakfast and dinner out there every day since we set it up.

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9 Truths About The End Of The School Year

*Full Disclosure- parts of this post appeared last year on the blog around the same time of year. I’m phoning it in here folks. Phoning it in. But I’ve added some new stuff so keep reading. 

The end of the school year cannot possibly come fast enough for me, y’all. We are limping along, just limping to the finish line. I started out the year so bright and shiny with enthusiasm and plans. I don’t know where I lost it. Somewhere between the Thanksgiving play and the January snow days I assume. The new planner I bought to keep track of all the stuff was filled in faithfully for the first 4-ish months of the school year. But the last 6 months are completely blank and mocking me. I’ve given up. Let me give you some insight into what giving up means in this house by the time we reach mid-May.

1. All the reading logs are falsified. Totally fake and not even remotely believable. As if my 3rd grader read 45 pages of Anne of Green Gables. But the teacher clearly didn’t notice so I assume she’s given up too. 

2. Lunch boxes are no longer a work of art. Last week one kid went to school with a half eaten slice of pizza and half an orange. So basically whatever they don’t finish from dinner the night before gets tossed into the lunch box. Yesterday I tossed $10 at Mason on the way out the door because I had no change and no leftovers. I’m sure he bought ice cream and cookies. I do not care. 

3. School spirit is at an all time low. Spirit nights? PTA meetings? Talent shows? Volunteers for pretty much anything? No. 

4. My kids look homeless. We started out the school year with perfectly coordinated outfits free from stains or holes. At this point as long as they aren’t going to school in their pajamas, I’m ok with it. But if their pajama pants can pass for real pants I’m ok with those too. I’m calling it a gray area. I refuse to buy them new clothes because they will all be wearing uniforms next year so why bother? Even Tyler has given up. He’s gone to school 4 days in a row out of uniform. Nobody noticed. 

5. Their book bags are so disgusting that they could pretty much walk to school on their own. I think Mason might have some kind of a Science project growing in his. I might leave it there and actually use it as his Science project next year. 

6. Morning drop off gets later and later. My kids go to a late start elementary school so the final bell doesn’t ring until 9:15am. At the beginning of the year we were in the car line no later than 8:50 so they had time to get to class and unwind without rushing. These days we are screeching into the parking lot at 9:13 and the kids shoot out of the car like track stars at the starter pistol. 

7. Any further assigned projects that require my assistance will be half-assed. Period. I only give my whole ass to projects in the first 6 months of the school year. Maia had to do a book report that consisted of a poster about her chosen book. She did it herself and it looked good. Much better than the kid who brought in the poster with a DVD of Little House on the Prairie taped to the poster board. Zoey did her own map project this week. I don’t know what it was a map of. I don’t care. 

8. Attendance at year end events will be spotty and entirely dependent on whether or not there’s anything good on TV at that time. End of year picnics, field days, volunteers breakfast, athletic banquets, muffins for mom, awards ceremonies….can’t we do these at the beginning of the year when we all still care?

9. A bake sale planned in May means I will be sending in store bought treats. Guaranteed. And I won’t even try to fake it by arranging them on a nice plate. They’re coming in the original box with the price sticker still attached. 

See how far we have fallen? I’d like to be embarrassed but I’m too tired. I just need it to end. Immediately. 

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5 Reasons Why My Current Stage Of Life Is Easier

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I almost hesitate to say it out loud or write it down but my life has gotten much easier. I feel like I’m tempting fate to drop the other shoe but it’s the truth. Gone are the days of midnight feedings and dragging baby equipment everywhere and entertaining small humans all day long. Life is busy, don’t get me wrong, but it’s inherently easier. It’s been a few months since I really started noticing the change. It snuck up on me out of the blue. 

1. We have built in babysitting. Matt and I went on a quick trip to Lowes last night at 7:00 and left the girls at home together. We routinely let Tyler or Maia babysit for Zoey and Mason. Small errands that used to be awful when we dragged 3 kids with us are actually enjoyable when it’s just the two of us! 

2. The house is cleaner. As the kids get older we have less big toys cluttering up everywhere and the toys that the kids do still have are all kept in their bedrooms. I have a strict policy on toys downstairs now. If they are still downstairs when I go to bed they get tossed in the Goodwill box and the offending child has 5 days to earn them back before they get donated. My house is very nearly company ready most of the time now. I never thought I’d see the day.

3. The kids help. They all have daily, weekly, and monthly chores that they’re responsible for doing. I hate washing windows but Zoey loves it so that’s her chore. I hate to dust so Mason does that. Maia is in charge of picking up dog poo in the yard. Tyler takes care of the yard. They all are responsible for bringing their dirty sheets down on laundry day. They get their own drinks and snacks now instead of bugging me 38 times an hour for a snack. They put their dishes in the dishwasher. It’s glorious.

4. We have better technology. I never set foot in a grocery store. I order on the app and pick it up in the parking lot. Anything I forget I can have delivered to my door in 2 days with Amazon Prime shipping. Almost all of my shopping is done online now for household stuff, kids clothes, my clothes, dog supplies…this alone has increased my happiness level by at least 150%. Pretty much anything I need to do I have an app for on my phone. I love technology.

5. There’s less pressure. I don’t know what it is about getting older that makes me care less about what others think. I don’t feel the pressure to put on a facade of the perfect life anymore. Life is messy and there’s no such thing as perfect. I care less about keeping up with the Joneses and more about finding satisfaction in the things that bring me joy. I don’t care if someone is judging my pajama pants and top knot in the car line. I don’t care. It’s very freeing. 

I’m really loving this new stage of life. I’m enjoying every day. I’m taking time to do the things I like- drinking margaritas in the hot tub, reading a great book at the bus stop, sitting by the fire pit with Matt at night making plans for the summer. Those are the things I want more of in my life. So all you mamas who are still in the trenches of toddlerhood and sleepless nights and the dreaded 3 year old dictatorship stage- hang in there. It gets better. 

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