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7 Southern Fails In Our House

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I’ve come to the realization that we are Southern failures in our house. Now, we don’t actually live in the deep South but we are pretty firmly entrenched in the Bible Belt. And living in the Bible Belt comes with some clear expectations. And we are failing to meet those expectations on a regular basis. 

1. We do not own anything with a monogram. Not one thing. I know, I should be flogged. We also do not own anything made of seersucker. It’s a travesty. 

2. Our kids don’t say ma’am and sir. They are polite and use manners but I will not force my kids to say ma’am and sir. I hated it as a child and I still hate it as an adult. 

3. We don’t spend all day Sunday at church. Nope. In fact, and don’t anybody form a lynch mob, we don’t go to church every Sunday…or even every month. Some Sundays Matt will watch Joel Osteen on TV and call it a day. I’m okay with this. 

4. MeeMaw and PeePaw are not words we say. Ever. No. I would die. 

5. We don’t wear big bows. In my defense, I tried to get my girls to wear big bows. It did not end well. I did not try again. 

6. Nobody hunts anything. Unless you count the kids hunting for poptarts in the pantry. And that doesn’t count in the South. I hit a squirrel with my car once. But I didn’t take it home and cook it so again, doesn’t count. 

7. We don’t like grits. Not with sugar, not with cheese, not with bacon….just no. None of us like grits. It’s the texture. I can’t. I just had a full body shudder. 

So I guess I’m a Southern failure. Somehow I will learn to live with that! 


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