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9 Truths About The End Of The School Year

*Full Disclosure- parts of this post appeared last year on the blog around the same time of year. I’m phoning it in here folks. Phoning it in. But I’ve added some new stuff so keep reading. 

The end of the school year cannot possibly come fast enough for me, y’all. We are limping along, just limping to the finish line. I started out the year so bright and shiny with enthusiasm and plans. I don’t know where I lost it. Somewhere between the Thanksgiving play and the January snow days I assume. The new planner I bought to keep track of all the stuff was filled in faithfully for the first 4-ish months of the school year. But the last 6 months are completely blank and mocking me. I’ve given up. Let me give you some insight into what giving up means in this house by the time we reach mid-May.

1. All the reading logs are falsified. Totally fake and not even remotely believable. As if my 3rd grader read 45 pages of Anne of Green Gables. But the teacher clearly didn’t notice so I assume she’s given up too. 

2. Lunch boxes are no longer a work of art. Last week one kid went to school with a half eaten slice of pizza and half an orange. So basically whatever they don’t finish from dinner the night before gets tossed into the lunch box. Yesterday I tossed $10 at Mason on the way out the door because I had no change and no leftovers. I’m sure he bought ice cream and cookies. I do not care. 

3. School spirit is at an all time low. Spirit nights? PTA meetings? Talent shows? Volunteers for pretty much anything? No. 

4. My kids look homeless. We started out the school year with perfectly coordinated outfits free from stains or holes. At this point as long as they aren’t going to school in their pajamas, I’m ok with it. But if their pajama pants can pass for real pants I’m ok with those too. I’m calling it a gray area. I refuse to buy them new clothes because they will all be wearing uniforms next year so why bother? Even Tyler has given up. He’s gone to school 4 days in a row out of uniform. Nobody noticed. 

5. Their book bags are so disgusting that they could pretty much walk to school on their own. I think Mason might have some kind of a Science project growing in his. I might leave it there and actually use it as his Science project next year. 

6. Morning drop off gets later and later. My kids go to a late start elementary school so the final bell doesn’t ring until 9:15am. At the beginning of the year we were in the car line no later than 8:50 so they had time to get to class and unwind without rushing. These days we are screeching into the parking lot at 9:13 and the kids shoot out of the car like track stars at the starter pistol. 

7. Any further assigned projects that require my assistance will be half-assed. Period. I only give my whole ass to projects in the first 6 months of the school year. Maia had to do a book report that consisted of a poster about her chosen book. She did it herself and it looked good. Much better than the kid who brought in the poster with a DVD of Little House on the Prairie taped to the poster board. Zoey did her own map project this week. I don’t know what it was a map of. I don’t care. 

8. Attendance at year end events will be spotty and entirely dependent on whether or not there’s anything good on TV at that time. End of year picnics, field days, volunteers breakfast, athletic banquets, muffins for mom, awards ceremonies….can’t we do these at the beginning of the year when we all still care?

9. A bake sale planned in May means I will be sending in store bought treats. Guaranteed. And I won’t even try to fake it by arranging them on a nice plate. They’re coming in the original box with the price sticker still attached. 

See how far we have fallen? I’d like to be embarrassed but I’m too tired. I just need it to end. Immediately. 


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