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5 Stages Of A Halloween Hangover


I love Halloween. I love seeing all the cute little kids dressed up begging for candy. It’s adorable. This year we went trick or treating with a big group again and it was a blast. There were about 22 of us- adults, teens, and kids- cruising the ‘hood for treats. Tyler declined to participate this year, he got home from football practice late and his knee hurt so he went to a friend’s party instead. Spoilsport. But we had a blast with our She-Wolf, Skeleton, and Kitty Witch. We walked approximately 3.4 miles around the neighborhood before coming home and consuming 3 pounds of candy in 12 minutes and proceeding to run, jump, hop, and skip around the house like kangaroos on speed for an hour before collapsing into sugar comas on the living room floor. Thus began the Halloween Hangover. 

Stage 1 (otherwise known as Why did we stay up so late): This stage began immediately when the alarm started blaring at 5:15am the morning after Halloween. It took 4 tries before I managed to turn it off because I could barely see through bleary, tired, eyes. Apparently 3 hours of sleep is not enough when you’re old.

Stage 2 (otherwise known as Who let me eat all these kit kats): Stage 1 flowed immediately into this stage when I rolled over and saw the mound of empty Kit Kat wrappers on the bedside table. Stage 2 is marked by shame. So much shame.

Stage 3 (otherwise known as How many Witches Brew shots did I do): The next stage started as soon as I tried to sit up and both my head and stomach protested violently. Those Witches Brew shots sure are good though. 

Stage 4 (otherwise known as Who is taking these kids to school): This would be the stage where Matt and I stared each other down in the kitchen having an entire argument with our eyes because our heads were pounding too bad to speak out loud. 

Stage 5 (otherwise known as Everyone go back to bed): The stage began when it became clear that neither one of us was going to win the stare down. Tyler caught a ride to school because he couldn’t miss football practice and the rest of us went back to bed for a few hours until we could wake up feeling more like human beings again.

We have successfully survived Halloween 2016. Go us. I don’t want to see another Kit Kat for a year.


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