1. Your left eye has developed a permanent twitch.
2. Packing the kids up and taking them to the pool for the afternoon has become more work than fun.
3. You’ve started hearing the phrase “But I’m bored” by 10am from multiple kids.
4. When it rains 3 days in a row you’re happy because it means you don’t have to shave your legs for the pool.
5. Your kids have started fighting over stupid stuff- like what to name the cat that we don’t own and won’t be getting.
6. Your 1 nightly cocktail has morphed into multiple shots of straight up liquor.
7. Your house has the perma-stank of many teenage boys because they congregate in your living room to play Xbox for hours every day after playing basketball outside.
8. Your monthly grocery bill has hit 4 digits and your checking account has hit double digits. The two might be related.
9. Your husband comes home and whines “not pasta salad again” because it’s too hot to turn on the oven.
10. You are 1 mosquito bite away from being infected with some deadly disease that will probably turn you into a zombie.
11. Little Kid Fight Club is starting to sound like a great way to make some quick cash since the kids are fighting anyway.
12. If the temps hit the 100’s one more time you are committed to moving to Alaska.
13. Your house could be featured on an episode of Hoarders just from the dirty laundry waiting to be washed.
14. The DVR is out of space because of all the cartoons your kids have figured out how to record.
15. You recently paid each kid $5 to just go spend 30 minutes in their rooms quietly so you could work on getting your left eye to stop twitching.
My left eye is still twitching. That was not money well spent. And I’m out of liquor. I think it might be time to call it quits on Summer Break.