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The Differences Between 27 and 37 Years Old

I turned 37 years old last week. How? I swear I was just a youngster and now I’m middle aged. Middle aged…well, almost. I hope to live longer than my mid-70’s but you never know. It got me thinking about how much has changed in the last decade. There’s a world of difference between 27 and 37.



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1. My baby factory was still open for business at age 27. Now, it’s closed up so tight there might be cobwebs. The uterus has been retired.


2. I feel like a fraud walking into Forever 21.


3. My body has suddenly decided it doesn’t want to process dairy anymore.


4. I now understand control top pantyhose and spanx.


5. Eating that cheeseburger means an extra hour on the treadmill.


6. I’d rather buy booze than pay for expensive highlights. Now I just consider my gray hair to be natural highlights.


7. Getting takeout and a redbox movie are now the ideal date night.


8. Going partying now includes character decorations, a bouncy house, and ice cream cake. And the only stripper we’ll see is the kid who manages to take his diaper off.


9. Getting carded at a restaurant is the highlight of my night.


10. My spam folder now has messages from AARP right along with the promotions for penis enhancers. Now I’m not just considered a transvestite but an old transvestite by the spammers. Awesome.


There has to be some good parts to getting older, right? Too bad I can’t remember any of them. The memory is the first to go. Clearly. 


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  • Francie @ Escovedo Escapades

    I knew I liked you! You’re a fellow Leo. Happy belated birthday to you! My birthday was the 24th; however, I turned 48. OUCH!

    • Happy Birthday! We share a birthday. Clearly we were destined to find each other online 🙂

  • these are so good – I totally get you!