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Conversations With My Kids

My kids are funny little creatures….even when they’re not trying to be funny. I find myself texting Matt during the day a lot to share the funny stuff they say. I started jotting down little snippets of the conversations so I would remember them and I wanted to share a few of them with y’all. 






Conversation between Ty & me about his health grade:


Ty: Mom, I got a C in health.

Mom: How do you get a C in Health class?

Ty: I don’t know.

Mom: Well what are you studying?

Ty: Sex.

Mom: You’re gonna make some girl very disappointed one day when she discovers you’re only a C student in sex ed.

Ty: That’s not funny.

Mom: It’s not funny. You better pay attention in class.


Conversation between Maia & me about her math grade:


Mom: Maia, your math grade went from an A to a B in the last quarter. Did you know?

Maia: Yep.

Mom: Why did you not get an A?

Maia: Geez mom. You know I’m only half-Asian, right?






Conversation between Ty & me about Spanish:


Ty: What language is that guy speaking?

Mom: Spanish.

Ty: Oh.

Mom: Didn’t you take Spanish?

Ty: Uh huh.

Mom: And wasn’t this your third year in Spanish?

Ty: Uh huh.

Mom: Dude.


Conversation between Mase & me about my sunburn:


Mase: You’re really red, mom.

Mom: I know, buddy.

Mase: Does it hurt?

Mom: Yeah, it hurts to get a sunburn.

Mase: Well I wish you were Asian like us so you could be brown instead of red.

Mom: Thanks kid.


Conversation between Ty & me about his pants:


Mom: Pull up your pants.

Ty: Why?

Mom: Because nobody wants to see your undies.

Ty: Mom. Nobody cares.

Mom: I care. Pull up your pants.

Ty: loud exasperated sigh

Mom: I will dye all your boxers pink so you don’t want to show them off anymore.

Ty: I will wear my pink undies with pride.






Conversation between Mase & me about manners:


Mom: When someone says something nice to you then what do you say?

Mase: Thank you.

Mom: Well Mrs. Smith told you that you are very handsome. What do you say?

Mase: I don’t know.

Mom: You say thank you.

Mase: Why?

Mom: Because it was a compliment.

Mase: But she was just telling the truth.


Conversation between Ty & me about having babies:


Ty: My teacher just had a baby.

Mom: That’s great.

Ty: But she’s a lesbian.

Mom: So?

Ty: So how did they make a baby?

Mom: Maybe they did artificial insemination.

Ty: What is that? It doesn’t sound fun.

Mom: They use frozen sperm from a sperm bank.

Ty: Frozen sperm? So….it’s sperm on a stick? Like a popcicle. It’s a sperm-cicle. 

Mom: Please don’t call it a sperm-cicle in front of your teacher. 

Ty: I’m telling her that’s what you called it.

Mom: I should have you medicated.






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  • love these!

  • Erin Downing

    Oh my stars…too funny!