Let’s talk about the absurdity of the morning car drop off line at my little kid’s school for a moment, shall we? More specifically, let’s talk about how it’s really bad for my health. Even more specifically, my blood pressure. I have an admittedly low tolerance for idiots and inconsiderate jerks. Unfortunately the morning car drop off seems to include an abundance of both. The picture below was taken out of my very dirty side window as I sat in the car line the other morning. See the blue awning at the top left of the picture? That’s the front door of the school. You see how far back I am? That’s where I sat for 6 minutes while the parents at the front played around getting their kids out of the car. It’s not that hard. See the sidewalk on the top right? That’s the sidewalk that a dad used to try and cut through the line. Sigh.
The Parents Who Drive Me Crazy In The Car Line
1. Parents who try to jump the line. Do I really need to reinforce the concept that the sidewalk is not an appropriate alternative to waiting your turn? Really? Jumping the sidewalk to cut in front of 8 cars just because you own a 4 wheel drive SUV is not okay. And if your mama didn’t see fit to teach you common courtesy then I’ll be happy to finish the job with my baseball bat. Get in line and wait your turn like everyone else.
2. Parents who form a second line. There is only one line. The reason there is only one line is for safety. These are little kids who should not be walking out in front of other cars. So I refer you to number 1. Get in line and wait your turn like everyone else. Douchebag.
3. Parents who drop their kids off in the wrong place. Again, one line and one drop off area. You are not special. Dropping your kid off in the middle of the parking lot and expecting them to cut across the car line is unsafe, inconsiderate, and downright stupid. Again, refer to number 1.
4. Parents who are talking on their phone instead of paying attention. Sigh. I’m sure whomever you are talking to on the other end of the phone can wait 2 minutes while you make sure your kid gets safely into the school. Almost running over your own kid because you are too busy having a conversation on the phone makes you look stupid. And rest assured, if you almost run over someone else’s kid because your on the phone I will cheer them on should they decide to introduce you to their baseball bat.
5. Parents who try to turn left out of the school despite the big NO LEFT TURN sign. I’m trying to get 4 kids to 3 different schools within 20 minutes. I do not have time to wait for your self-entitled, inconsiderate, jerk face to hold up the line for 10 minutes while you try to make a left turn out of the school. You see that big ole sign that says NO LEFT TURN? That means you too, douchebag. You are not special. Repeat after me. YOU. ARE. NOT. SPECIAL. Now hang a right like the rest of us before I help you get out of the way.
I feel better now. I’m so tired of the douchebags in the car drop off line. This is not rocket science, people. Follow the rules, wait your turn, and don’t be a jerkface. It’s very simple. I’m going to have to start putting on make-up and wearing something besides pajamas when I drop off the kids just in case I end up on the 6 o’clock news. I’ll be the one waving the baseball bat with the crazy eyes if you want to watch.