I’ve never been shy about sharing my struggles on this here blog. I’m human and therefore I have struggles just like everyone else in the world. Keeping them a secret just feels fake and unrealistic. Sharing your crazy with the world clearly seems like a better idea. I mean, duh. And finding some humor even in the sucky moments is essential to not cracking up. If you take your crazy too seriously then one day you’ll wake up to find yourself wandering through the neighborhood in your bathrobe using a banana as a phone. Not that it’s happened to me….yet. There’s always tomorrow.
7 Consequences of Chronic Insomnia
1. You look horrible after a few days with minimal sleep. People who don’t know you ask if you’re sick. Or, even worse, when you’re at the store people will noticeably move away from you as though you have a contagious disease.
2. You are a cranky bitch. Seriously. Just ask your spouse, your kids, your friends, your neighbors, the dog, the mail lady, the UPS guy, the customer service rep from the cable company, the garbage man, the solicitor who tried to sell you a new roof, the pest control guy who called to cancel an appointment, and the Jehovah’s Witnesses who had the misfortune of knocking on your door.
3. Your diet mainly consists of coffee. And the amount of coffee you consume on a daily basis could quite possibly power a small plane. But without the caffeine you will die. Literally just curl up in a ball and die.
4. Your head is so fuzzy that after a few nights you find yourself opening a box of (insert some completely useless As Seen On TV item here) that you purchased during an insomnia-induced shopping spree at 4am from QVC. Seriously, it’s disturbing how practical some of those items seem after a week of little to no sleep.
5. Your house looks like a scene straight out of Hoarders. And you just don’t care. The energy it would require to clean up the mess, or even to yell at your kids to clean up the mess, just isn’t worth expending when you’re working on 30 minutes of sleep.
6. You find yourself wandering aimlessly around the house in a haze of confusion because you lack the brain power to remember from one second to the next what the hell you were supposed to be doing. Bonus points if this happens to you while out in public. I was all the way inside a Lowe’s store a few weeks ago before I realized I had absolutely no idea why I was there or what I was supposed to be buying. I still haven’t remembered.
7. You make decisions that are better left to a clear head. For example- cutting 9 inches off your hair and dying it black might seem like a great idea to a fuzzy sleep deprived brain but when that haze clears out and the reflection in your mirror resembles Harry Potter you realize just how bad of an idea it really was.
Insomnia is bad, y’all. So so bad.