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Important Things Life Has Taught Me

 
 

10 Important Things Life Has Taught Me
 

1. If you brush a dogs teeth with real toothpaste you can remake the movie Cujo, complete with the foaming mouth and snarling. It sounds fun but in reality it’s just messy.

 

2. If you allow a 5 year old to make his own sandwich you will be cleaning peanut butter off of every available surface in your kitchen.

 

3. If you make it to the 28th of the month and celebrate having $1.36 left in your checking account, something major in your house will break.

 

4. If you wear pajamas and slippers to drop your kid off at school something unforeseen will happen to force you to take your kid inside the school.

 

5. If you spend an hour packing everything but the kitchen sink in your vehicle around your kids for a vacation someone will have to pee.

 

6. If you are waiting for a delivery, a phone call, or the pest control guy to show up, the doorbell or phone will only ring the minute you soap up your hair in the shower.

 

7. If you spend a month planning and buying supplies for a very specific character party for your kid they will change their mind 48 hours before said party is scheduled to occur.

 

8. If you force your husband to do laundry under extreme duress he will shrink your favorite sweater and turn it into doll clothes. Then he will laugh at your screams of horror.

 

9. If you invite 30+ family members to your house to celebrate a major holiday the power will go out in the middle of cooking the holiday dinner.

 

10. If you serve an abundance of alcoholic beverages at your holiday celebration someone is going to end up half naked and dancing on a table….and it’s usually the person you least expect….like grandma. 

 

Please don’t ask how I know all these things. I’d rather not talk about it or think about it ever again. Ever. *shudder*

 

*Don’t forget to enter for your chance to win a $100 Visa Gift Card! The details are on THIS POST!

 

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  • Rachel Thompson

    I let my husband do the laundry because I can’t remember from one second to the next what I was doing before. Your post is great, I laughed my, well I laughed a lot.

  • rorybore

    My husband does his own laundry…. I can’t even watch. seriously. I do my own, the 3 kids and anything in the house like towels, sheets, etc. That sounds rather unfair ..but I swear, you’d shudder to see him toss it all in there together. I found drywall nails the other day!

    He’s actually laundered money — I mean, not from a bank robbery or anything because we’d have a bigger house — but I mean washed money left in his pockets.

  • Stacey

    LOL I LOVE this! Sometimes life is just one grand adventure. But I have to say, I will have to be on my deathbed to let my husband do my laundry!

  • Crystal @MyBlissfulSpace

    Love it. 🙂