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10 Signs You Are The Mom Of 5 Kids

10 Signs You’re The Mom Of 5 kids:

1. Your wardrobe only has 2 sections: good enough to wear in public and never ever leaves the house. You have dressy tees and home tees. You have dressy flip flops and home flip flops. You have dressy yoga pants and home yoga pants. Never shall the two be confused.


2. Your teenage babysitter bought a new car and sent you a thank you note for helping her pay for it.


3. You haven’t had your eyebrows (or anything else) waxed in so long you are starting to fear someone might declare a bigfoot sighting when you go to The Wal*Mart.


4. You have started a homework hierarchy in your house. You pay the 12 year old $5 to explain fractions to the 8 year old. You pay the 8 year old $3 to read to the 5 year old. Otherwise your whole night is spent doing your kids homework. Ain’t nobody got time for that.


5. You use a scavenger hunt game to get your kids to help you look for your keys, your sunglasses, your shoes, your wine glass….it’s their fault you lost your mind so they should help.


6. Your last kid doesn’t even have a baby book yet. You have to look back at Facebook and your blog to figure out when their milestones happened. Bonus points if you had to check those sources while at the pediatrician’s office for a well kid check up. True story.


7. You taught the 8 year old how to use the microwave so she could feed the 5 and 2 year old’s while you attempt to shave both legs during your 5 minute shower.


8. Your youngest kid learned to count to 3 by the time she was 14 months old because of all the 3 count time-outs earned by her older siblings.


9. Your monthly grocery bill is higher than your mortgage.


10. You drive a minivan and it looks like a hoard of hobos are living inside it. When the sliding door opens you hold your breath waiting to see what is going to fall out. The van is full of sports equipment, school paper, and mystery bags that nobody wants to know the contents inside. We’re not even going to talk about the smells….you don’t want to know.


**Remember how limited technology was when we were kids? You can read about how and why I am supporting technology in my own kid’s classrooms HERE! #sponsored



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  • J W

    Love the homework hierarchy but watch it thy might go union on you !

  • The part about time out! OMG so funny I know it well!

  • Shabby LOCO

    Amen Sister…PREACH! & P.S That yoga pant thing is soooooo true! *Giggle*

  • Nysha

    Ah, the minivan, our home-away-from-home. 3 of my five were within 3 years of each other (I adopted 2 sibling groups), while my youngest was almost 4 years younger than my next youngest. Poor little tyke was a natural introvert who got dragged to all the sports & school activities his extroverted older siblings participated in.

  • I only have 3 kids but might have to get my 8 yr old to read to my 3 yr old, etc! (she already helped the 6 yr old with homework last night – she remembered how to do it when I wasn’t sure!)

  • sfrjenkins

    Speaking of smelly minivans, do you know that when one child leaves a bottle of chocolate milk in the van, and then another steps on said bottle of milk 2 weeks later, the smell lingers for weeks? It does, it really does.

  • Emma @ Your Doctor’s Wife

    You’re not joking about the minivan smells. Even with our kids being 20, 18, 15, and 13, and the fact that it finally got cleaned out, the smells still linger. Yes, we still have the same minivan the kids “grew up” in. She (the minivan) is 17 years old and she never lets us down, despite taking a horrible beating from us over the years. 😉