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Truth or Lies: The Reveal

I’m finally going to put you all out of your misery and tell you which of the 5 statements from my original Truth or Lies post are actually true. I know you have been waiting so impatiently for me to reveal just how disturbed and twisted I really am, right? Have no fear, I shall spill the beans.

If you missed the original post, you can find it at Truth or Lies.

1. I spent a night in jail and had a cellmate named Gert who fell asleep on the toilet. 

True. Totally 100% true. Don’t worry, I’m not a felon. As part of my criminal justice course in college we had to spend the night in a county jail. We went through the entire booking process and everything. It was totally cool…only because it wasn’t real. Ha! The night I was assigned to play a smooth criminal happened to be a very busy evening in the clink. We were supposed to get our own cell but because so many people were arrested that night I ended up with cellmate named Gert. She was at least 75 years old, drunk as a skunk, and the first thing she did was drop her drawers, plunk down on the toilet and then pass out. It was an educational experience and reinforced my belief that I am not built for prison. Ha!

2. I have an unhealthy addiction to French Fries dipped in ranch dressing.

False. Oh, I have an unhealthy addiction to French Fries all right but I like them dipped in Honey or if I’m at Wendy’s, I dip them in a chocolate frosty! Yumm……

3. I once had a boy serenade me from the bleachers during a soccer game in high school.

True. And it was nowhere near as romantic as it sounds. It was not a John Cusack moment from Say Anything. I was a freshman and it was a senior friend of my cousin who lost a bet and was forced to serenade me with a Wilson Phillips song. Yeah. Picture it. I died a little bit inside that day.

4. I once got a ticket for indecent exposure for flashing my boobs.

False. The very hot cop let me go with a warning instead of a ticket. And the whole flashing thing was an accident. I was changing clothes in the back of my friends car after soccer practice while she was driving. As I pulled my shirt and sports bra off, she thought it would be hysterical to roll down the window. It was not hysterical. That cop was a hottie though.

5. I failed a Home-Ec class because I sewed my fingers together making a skirt.

True. And it hurt. A lot. I still have the scar. The Home-Ec teacher just wasn’t quite sure what to do with me. Clearly my domestic skills were as questionable back then as they are now. I don’t even know what happened or how I did it. All I remember is pain, blood, and being called Flipper for the rest of the year. It was…unpleasant. This is also why I do not sew, not even a hem. That’s why God invented hemming tape, for idiots like me who might sew their fingers together.

So how many did you get right? Did any of my answers surprise you or did I live down to your expectations? Ha!

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  • French fries dipped in frosty is the best!!

  • I will admit, I didn’t play along since I knew you’d reveal the answer key in time! Shame on me, eh?

    Five is my favorite. We are kindred, I once got my finger stuck in a cash register (not the drawer, I was replacing the receipt tape). The scar is faint but it exists!

  • This was hysterical! I was surprised the jail story was true…too funny. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

  • I’m sorry to report that I figured you’d spent the night in jail…for real. I don’t know why. Maybe it was wishful thinking. I would have loved to hear the story of how you ended up in the clink.

  • Lol, awesome stories. Boy, sewing machines used to be so much better made. Mine balks at three layers of medium-weight fabric. It would probably fall to pieces if I tried to sew body parts.

  • Oh my goodness! Hahaha! I love this! I can’t imagine what spending that night in jail was like. Crazy! And ouch on the sewing!

  • Ouch. I stapled my fingers together in art class once in grade school. I still don’t know how I managed it.