web analytics

Dear Kids….

I’d like to take this opportunity to say thanks for:

1. Your ongoing quest to make sure I will be sleep deprived until the day I die.
2. The pesky cellulite leftover from months of gestating you that insists on hanging around to mock me and remind me of my skinny days.
3. Waiting until I take an important phone call to start screaming bloody murder.
4. Ensuring that the house is once again a disaster exactly 30 minutes after I clean it.
5. Using your powers for evil to embarrass me in public at every opportunity.
6. The mystery stain on the stairs….seriously, what is that?
7. Answering the phone and informing someone who is not a member of our family that “mommy is going poo.”
8. The mindless hours of brain-rotting, soul-sucking, kids programming that you’ve forced us to watch on television for years.Β 
9. Always finding new and innovative ways to embarrass me in public. At least you’re creative.Β 
10. Every single smile, giggle, hug, sloppy kiss, and snuggle you give me. You make my life worth living. Any chance we can we work on the first 9?

Share This

  • So embarrassment made 5 and 9? So embarrassed much? I guess “mommy is going poo” could probably be squeezed into that category too. πŸ™‚ Ellen

  • Love it! I feel ya, sister!

  • As always…one of my favourite LOL lists!

  • Of course I would expect this list; you have TEN KIDS. Mostly, I’m obsessed with the picture of the baby with her eyes closed. Her personality shows through even there. Love.

  • Ado

    “The mystery stain on the stairs…what is that?” —> BWA HA HA HA HAHAHAHA!
    I have no idea either, when you figure it out will you please let me know?

  • Sleeping and cleaning. I think I’m gonna give up soon. And maybe take it up again once they’re out of my house someday. Right now, it just seems so….pointless! LOL.

  • Well said! I’d love to tell you it gets better with age, but sadly I cannot.

  • PERFECT list – I’m with you on every single one, including the stain on the stairs. WTH???

  • What’s the point in cleaning if they will just mess it up again? Every time hubby and I start cleaning the house, the kids ask “who’s coming over?”

  • I see your kids go to the same Academy and are straight A students too!! But #10 makes it all better. Maybe.

  • Sounds like they are so in tune with Mommy’s needs πŸ˜‰

  • #7 is adorable! at least it’s cute…even myyoungest would say “momma’s taking a crap!”

  • If kids only understood how great sleep really is? I don’t get it! Though I do agree, those giggles and smiles do make up for it!

  • 10 makes 1 – 9 not so bad. Althogh I hate those moms who claim to love their cellulite and stretch marks and wear them as badges of honor… yea right, they are only trying to convince themselves!

  • As far as #9, the tables will turn when they hit their teens. You will be the one embarrassing them in public. Use this power wisely. πŸ˜‰

  • Number 3 is the story of my life now. No one even looks at me until I pick up the phone. And I understand lots of the other too!

  • My kids are always screaming like banshees, but usually when I’m on the phone is when they find that one burning question they absolutely HAVE to ask right at that second.

  • Cat

    What the Hell is it with the Phone? Seriously? It ISN’T A THREAT TO YOUR EXISTENCE!!!!! I swear I will continue to parent you both while and after I am on the phone…Holy COW!!!

  • Awww, and it always ends with sweetness. Great list. Erin

  • I have the sleep depervation part down pat too. A great list of real parenting.

  • Oh please, I’ve had one kid (25+ years ago) and I think I had cellulite before him. You may not hang that one on your kids.

    As for the phone screaming, you don’t like to talk on the phone, so that thanks certainly can’t be sarcastic!

  • Oh yes, the old “look, Mama’s on the phone, let’s act like banshees, attempt to kill each other, and make the person on the other end of the phone think they’ve phoned the local insane asylum by mistake” trick. My kids are experts at that.
    Carpet stains? 2 cats, 2 kids… Don’t want to know what they are any more.
    Sleep? Kids tv… Let’s not go there! πŸ˜‰
    My two year old told me “luff you” today, for the first time, it is all worth it, really it is!

  • I’ve come to the conclusion there is no point to sleeping or cleaning until they leave home. Love how you wrapped it all up πŸ™‚