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You Know You’re Outnumbered as a Mom when…

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I know that nobody who reads my blog on even a semi-regular basis is under any kind of illusion that I am a perfect mom. Truthfully, that wouldn’t even be an illusion. More like a delusion. Plus, I have lots of small people living in this house. I am outnumbered. I am just striving to raise semi well-adjusted, socially acceptable, mentally stable adults who will be able to legally move out of my house without an ankle bracelet beeping. So for all the outnumbered moms just trying to make it till bedtime who have ever doubted their capabilities to raise productive children, who found themselves eyeing up the liquor cabinet at 10am, who gave their children Cocoa Puffs for dinner and called it a day-well, this lil ole list is for you. 

You Know You’re Outnumbered as a Mom when:


1. The phrase “Because I Said So” is immediately followed by “Stop laughing, that wasn’t a joke”. I don’t know why that phrase was so effective when my mom used it because it sure doesn’t work for me. 

2. You eat dinner standing up at the counter because it’s the only way to keep small fingers from picking all the food off your plate like pint-sized scavengers.

3. After all else fails, you threaten to take away Halloween, Birthday’s, and Christmas. And you mean it.

4. You consider a handful of Goldfish, a Grape, and a 3 bites of a waffle to be a well balanced toddler dinner.

5. The noise level in your home at any given time of the day rivals that of a stadium full of drunk football fans and you no longer notice it. 

6. You can hold a toddler, talk on the phone, assist with homework, cook dinner, and open a juice box all at the same time. 

7. The “witching” hour is commonly referred to as the “bitching” hour in your house. Coincidentally, it also called “Happy Hour” when the wine flows freely. 

Are you outnumbered in your house?

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  • So true! I love that part about the kids laughing. I feel like I’m a comedian at home with all the laughing they do at my serious requests. I need to make a meaner face.

    (Thanks for linking this up over at #findingthefunny last week!)

  • Wait! Goldfish, a grape and waffles isn’t a balanced meal?? Crap! Eh, oh well.

    stopping by from Finding the Funny – actually I come here all the time:)

  • By the way, I really like your sock strategy.
    It might help prevent this problem:

    http://www.weakandloved.com/2011/10/raising-awareness-ptssd.html

  • Drinking wine and nodding over here… this mom of six say, YEP.

    and by the way, that is a balanced meal. The little one will get veggies someday.. or at least another cheerio or 2 off the floor.

    Emily
    http://www.weaknandloved.com

  • Have no idea what you’re talking about…;) Ha! No, seriously, a whole grape?? Wouldn’t that count for a week’s worth of fruit and veggies?

  • My kids are grown, but I remember those days! I only had three, but sometimes it felt like twelve. Enjoy it, for they grow up too fast!

    • I think no matter what number you have, multiply it by 4 and that’s an accurate reflection of how it feels. Haha!

  • There’s me and 3 kids, tho one is officially an adult. Doesn’t matter, he doesn’t help to balance the playing field. And in restrictions like “no bending” because of back surgery, and you get a totally messy house. “No bending”? Seriously? I should have gotten one of those grabby things you use to get stuff off a shelf over your head. If it hits the floor, it’s there for a while!

    • I have one of those grabby things. Haha! Found it at a yard sale for $1. Couldn’t pass it up for that price.

  • I’m definitely outnumbered! LOVE #4! Well, all of them, but especially #4. I love your writing! New follower from Mama Kat’s.

    http://littlebishopchronicles.blogspot.com/2012/06/stepping-out-of-my-comfort-zone.html

  • 😀 Hang in there!

  • Classic. Great post, especially #4!

  • Love this! Please medicate me.

  • TKW

    My mom always referred to it as “the witching hour,” but I think I like “the bitching hour better.” With wine, of course.

  • Number 1 and Number 4 — well, all of them really. Yes, I’m outnumbered and throw in all the animals I have to keep track of — no wonder I feel like NOTHING ever gets done.

    • I feel your pain! It’s the same thing in my house.

  • I have one child and one on the way, but I do have two large dogs who act just like my toddler. Some days I do feel like I have three kids especially when they all need to poop at the same time.

    • There’s a lot of that simultaneous pooping at my house too. Haha!

  • Number 4 is a DEFINITE YES in our house. And I’ve had people comment on the noise in the house. I just look at them as if they’ve lost their minds. I just don’t hear it anymore.

    • You really do learn to tune it out, don’t you? It’s amazing!

  • Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. And OH YEAH! 🙂

  • I love it. This sounds just like my house, even though I only have 2! Number 7 is my favorite – anything with wine helps dull all the other whining.