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Little Letters

Dear Toddler Child, I do not understand Whine-ese. Please speak English…..Dear Hot Tub Repair Guy, fixing my hot tub in your speedo bathing suit makes me want to not pay you due to the insult to my eyes. Put on some pants…..Dear Mean Lady at Target, telling your beautiful teen daughter that she was too fat for that bathing suit made me want to punch you in the face…..Dear Zoey, waving and telling the pictures of yourself bye-bye as I edit them on the computer makes me giggle every single time. Don’t ever stop doing that…..Dear Weather, now that the pool is open and we have nothing keeping us from spending every single day swimming you decide to dump massive amounts of rain on us every day? That is uncool, knock it off. Mama needs a tan…..Dear Bailey the Boston Terror, sending the repair guy up a tree with your barking was hysterically funny but wildly inappropriate. You’re a 15 pound Boston, please stop channeling the Doberman down the street…..Dear Zoey, you peed on my potted plant. Really? Was that necessary? I know you saw the dog do it but you are not a dog……

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  • Anonymous

    A guy came to fix my jaccuzi and he weared speedos as well. Was the guy fat ?? Or in shape.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15592603303747479189 Ashleigh Nichole

    Zoey waving bye bye to her pictures has got to be the cutest thing ever I do believe! How adorable :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16807400887814224333 Meredith

    Ewwww!!! A Speedo, seriously, so weird! Hook him up with the nasty lady at Target–sounds like they deserve each other ;)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16566532867568697455 siddathornton

    he fixed your hot tub while wearing a SPEEDO?! wow. that’s ridic!

    - lauren

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      I know, right?! And disturbing. Matt says I should call the company and complain but I hate to possibly get the guy fired. The job market is hard enough. I just wish he’d wear pants!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02865863984001684338 Joe

    Very funny, but let me give you a warning: If you ever decide to breed your dog, don’t let the Zoey watch.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Oh MY GAH! The horror. THE HORROR! I swear a shiver just went down my spine, Joe. Thankfully Bailey the Boston Terror is neutered. No breeding shall be taking place.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04839575471985012074 chelsea

    You are soo funny! I couldn’t help but Laugh about Zoey peeing on your plant. Kids do the funniest things. Hope your eyes are feeling better, haha @ put some pants on, repair man!!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      My eyes will never be the same! Zoey even tried to lift her leg like the dog. That’s how I know she learned it from him. Haha! Busted by the toddler.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05796297392211742593 Cait

    oh my i would have wanted to punch that lady at target too for saying that! hilarious posts though ;) and def cute blog!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Thanks :) I really did want to punch her. Her daughter looked so crushed. Broke my heart!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15296667919058630281 Tennille


    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Thank you :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07311823149705988541 Kristine @ TheFoleyFam

    The letters above is exactly why I love you and your blog-o!! I would have DIED with the hot tub repair guy! “put on some pants” #hilarious

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Thank you! It was like a car wreck. I could not look away no matter how much I wanted to! Ugh.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13919982269396198400 Becky

    I love reading your Little Letters. They always crack me up. Please, keep up the funny! :-)

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Thank you Becky. Based on the events that take place in my house daily, the funny will never run out. Haha!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11267800354416537380 Chris

    Why couldn’t your repairman look like the guys from Magic Mike? Not fair! Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants to punch people in the face when I’m at Target. One time 3 grown ass adults were holding up a plus size bathing suit and laughing hysterically at how big it was. I walked up to them and told them that they were insulting, inappropriate and that they should be ashamed. What I really wanted to do was punch them in the face. Visiting from Friday’s Letters!


    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      I asked why the repair guy couldn’t look more like Channing Tatum than John Travolta (the old version). Haha! And I was so upset after that episode in Target. I can’t imagine ever making my child feel so bad about herself.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06787886183163179543 Michelle

    Oh my gosh too many dears that I want to comment on but I’ll pick just one – Imagine having to wear bathers as your job, now that would suck! Especially in winter in the hot tub and the hot water isnt working brrrrr not fun.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      I could never do a job that required me to wear a bathing suit. Ever. For the good of the public. Haha!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11287268704123898263 Kristel

    This was too funny, and made my day!!!! I need to make a list myself!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      You should. Link it up to Friday Letters!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03832214861973170475 Cole

    My theory is that Zoey’s eyes were so assaulted by the repair man in the speedo that she “accidentally” peed on your plant. It’s kind of like watching a horror movie…you get so scared your bladder revolts a little!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Haha! I like that theory.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16201061179479380167 Paige Kellerman

    I’m gonna second the “Ewww” to the hot tub guy. That said, why oh why must the toddlers keep whining? I think my ears are about to fall off.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Word. The whining stabs my brain like an ice pick!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09316263511770775288 AbsoluteMommy

    You bring the funny like nobody’s biz!! Love it!!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Thank you! My neighbor said my life should be a sitcom. I’m not sure that was a compliment either. Haha!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09360736067937878702 Tricia

    The hot tub repair guy was wearing a Speedo??? Why??? EEEWWW!! Love Zoey waving bye-bye to her pictures! Too cute!

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      There is never ever an excuse for a speedo. Ever.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16731622822812299607 futurehope

    those are fabulous. :)

    Couldn’t help but laugh that zoey peed on a plant. I know my days of that are coming soon. I was just talking about how it seems my toddler saves his pee for bath time because he ALWAYS pees in the tub. can’t imagine how “exciting” life is gonna get when he can actually remove his underpants/diaper and go wherever he wants. smh.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04968250671087385396 Delilah Love

      Thank you :) Mine do the same thing in the tub. What is the fascination with peeing in the tub? Gah.