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Dear Producers of TLC Birth Moms,

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I sat down to watch this show over the weekend, anticipating a heartwarming show depicting the process of birth moms selecting the families that would be raising their children. I expected to be moved as I watched the bond forming between the birth moms and the prospective families. I thought I would feel the joy of watching a child be placed in the arms of their adoptive parents.

What I did not expect was to see birth moms smoking, drinking, popping pills, shoplifting, and speaking in such derogatory terms about the prospective adoptive families. I was appalled. There were so many things wrong with this show that I hardly even know where to start. If 2 of the birth moms followed by the show were the cream of the crop that this agency had to provide, I hope every adoptive family that sees the show will steer clear and find another agency to work with.

You did a great disservice to all of the birth moms out there that took their time to search for a family that they felt would be perfect for their child. You did another huge disservice to the families out there who may choose not to pursue adoption based on the horrible light in which you chose to shine on it in this program. I just cannot wrap my mind around why you chose these particular girls to participate in an adoption show. Kandice spent the entire show smoking, drinking alcohol, shoplifting in front of the cameras, and let’s not forget how she asked the adoptive parents to lie to her son by never telling him that he is adopted. Who does that? Taylor was just rude and watching her make fun of the potential adoptive families profiles was a particularly cringe-worthy moment. She waited until the day before her son was born to even pick a family despite having been shown many profiles and really did not seem onboard with the adoption plan at all.

As bad as the girls were in this show, I have an even bigger bone to pick with the agency. I have a real problem with any adoption agency providing fully paid housing for the girls, it creates a conflict of interest and has the potential to make a birthmom feel obligated to place her child. That’s just the tip of my irritated iceberg. The agency didn’t seem very proactive in working with the girls to find families, the agency workers didn’t appear to even have a basic idea of what Taylor was looking for in a family. Her baby was bi-racial and they were showing her profiles of families were a bi-racial child would probably stick out more than necessary. A Mennonite family? Really? The girls were not subject to any kind of rules or standards of care from what was seen on the show. Smoking, drinking, popping pills…..

The show was a disgrace to adoption and the girls were definitely not the best representation of what a birthmom should be. And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch about me being judgmental and harsh- I am an adoptee as well as an adoptive parent. I am not an outsider looking in. I am a part of this community of adoption. And I was appalled.

Either do better or don’t bother.

Sharing with Just Write and Pour Your Heart Out.

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  • I just hope that doesnt reflect how a majority of birth mom poppulation (not everyone but most) are but the sad reality is most of them are that way. That is a reason why they cant keep the babies because they cant even get their lives straight.

  • I saw the show and share your feelings. I am equally disturbed by other shows on TLC – Sister Wives for example. They ran a marathon of that stupid show on Mother’s Day of all days! And, don’t get me started on the pageant shows.

  • Oh my! I’m not familiar with the show, but that sounds awful!

  • Haven’t we got to the greasy, sticky bottom of the Reality TV Barrel yet? What started out as brave, new television has just become a freak show. I’m glad I didn’t see the programme. I’m just gloomily certain that they chose those girls simply because people would be shocked and horrified and come back for more. Good news and happy events don’t make for good (IE financially successful) entertainment.

  • Isn’t it sad what lengths a network will go to for ratings? And even worse that they apparently put all this garbage together because we, as an American public, consume it? You and I are APPALLED at this show…but think of all the people out there who are watching just for sh*ts and giggles and trainwreck style TV? It’s so sad. I have a very good friend who lovingly placed a child with an amazing family after an unplanned pregnancy. She took the BEST care of herself, she did EVERYTHING right, and this child is absolutely thriving in her adoptive family. Why isn’t that good television?