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He Said, She Said: Extortion

{You know all those funny and/or stupid little moments that happen in every marriage but nobody ever talks about? Well welcome to He Said, She Said: True Stories where I give you an unprecedented glimpse inside the marital dysfunction. Your welcome.}

Setting the Scene: Matt was recruited to take Maia to her dental appointment because both Zoey and Mase were sick and I couldn’t in good conscience take them to the dentists office to spread the plague. The following conversation took place on the phone when Matt arrived at the dentist’s office.

He Said: I forgot to get the new insurance card and the office lady says I have to have it for them to file for insurance reimbursement.

She Said: You mean the insurance card that I handed to you 3 weeks ago, then clipped to the fridge for you to see every single time you opened it? The one I reminded you to put in your wallet no less than 100 times in the past 3 weeks? You mean that one?

He Said: Yeah. That one.

She Said: I see. And what do you think should happen here?

He Said: Can you bring me the insurance card? If I reschedule the appointment I’ll have to pay a $25 cancellation fee.

She Said: I will wake up both sick kids, dress them and then drag them out of the house to bring you the insurance card that you should have put in your wallet when I told you to 3 weeks ago. I’ll do that for you.

He Said: Ok. Thanks?

She Said: Uh huh.

He Said: I’m going to pay for this, aren’t I?

She Said: It would be cheaper to pay the cancellation fee.

He Said: I’ll pick up dinner. How does burgers sound?

She Said: Not as good as Japanese sounds. I’m thinking….sushi.

He Said: Sounds like bribery to me.

She Said: More like an expensive lesson to learn. Did you learn anything?

He Said: Yeah. That my wife has the skills necessary to become a world class extortionist.

She Said: Thank you.

He Said: Not so much a compliment.

The End.

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