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LESSONS LEARNED DURING THE STORM OF 2009

#1: The meteorologists will be wrong. They always are.

#2: The power will go out. It always goes out.

#3: Waiting until the power goes out to search for flashlights and batteries is a Very Bad Idea.

#4: There will never be enough of the right size of batteries.

#5: Telling the kids that it’s just like camping will sound more appealing if you’re not weeping and fondling the remote.

#6: Being Amish would suck.

#7: The 800 number reported by the news to call in power outages is the wrong number.

#8: If you press 1, you will then have phone sex with Candy Cane.

#9: Candy Cane is not a girl.

#10: Two hours of telling ghost stories is not a good idea right before bedtime.

#11: Ty is still scared of the dark.

#12: The dog is not fond of the dark either.

#13: The dog howls when scared.

#14: Three hours of staring at your spouse in the dark with no electronic background noise and nothing left to talk about is akin to waterboarding.

#15: You will forget to turn everything off when you give up and stumble to bed in the dark.

#16: Mase will wake up as soon as you fall asleep.

#17: Maia will wake up as soon as Mase falls back to sleep…in your bed.

#18: Ty will wake everyone up just minutes after you all fall back to sleep.

#19: It is not possible for 5 people to sleep comfortably in a Queen size bed.

#20: Your children will take over the bed and the covers leaving you shivering and half hanging off the side of the bed.

#21: Maia talks in her sleep. Loudly.

#22: Five people and a dog are not able to co-exist peacefully in a Queen size bed.

#23: The power will come back on at 3am and wake everybody up because you forgot to turn off 2 TV’s, a CD player and all the lights.

#24: The power will go off again at 3:30am, just to mess with your head.

#25: When morning finally arrives, the kids will be bright eyed and bushy tailed while you are dragging your tired ass around with less than 2 hours sleep.

#26: You cannot put a price on Children’s NyQuil. It’s liquid gold in a bottle.

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